Where No Man Wants To Go
That's where I find myself this morning:
Isaiah 43

1 But now, this is what the LORD says- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

As I walked past this section of the beach where the ocean waves entered the inlet from several different directions, I could feel my legs weakening at the thought of one of my children being swept into these dangerous currents. The lifeguard further down the beach front explained to me that the current in this area is much like a washing machine, churning and spiraling inward pulling everything down that enters its unpredictable waves.

"Do not go near this section," I warned my boys daily. Knowing the danger and seeing the warning signs, we easily made the choice to stay far, far away.
Unfortunately, in my real life I don't get this option. The churning and spiraling of reality pulls me inward and downward as if life's news is drowning me in fear and doubt. Choosing to avoid life's dangerous currents isn't always an option. There are times when, athough a physical lifeguard may not be on duty, we are thrown into crashing waves where we need Someone to be our spiritual lifeguard....and the good news is that God made this promise in Isaiah 43 when He says, "when you pass through the rivers, I will be with You."

I love the Scott Krippayne's song, "Sometimes He Calms the Storm."

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will

Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place

Yesterday's news with Nick has awakened me once again in the wee hours of the morning with that feeling of panic and dread that can only be subsided by time in God's Word. Upstairs Nick sleeps peacefully with my mom, his future uncertain. The bone scan showed some things that they are unsure about. The reality of the tumors in his brain causes my chest to cave in. Thursday we return again to Cincinnati (a two-hour journey) for a petscan to look at all of the tissue of Nick's body.

I still pray for a miracle. I think of Daniel's 21-day fast, and I contemplate it.....desperate for any way to show God that I am sold out on His love and provision for Nick, trusting only in Him for healing.

I think of Habakkuk's words:

16 I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled. Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

I remember the special service at She Speaks where Renee Swope spoke and one by one we came forward with our fears and doubts. As we came, we were handed cards that had been prayed over and God-selected for each of us to receive. My blessing was a card that said I was, "ABLE," and it held the verse Hab. 3:19. I cried as I returned to my seat realizing that God was saying to me, "Tammy, I believe in you. I have plans for you. I am your strength. I will enable you to go on the heights."

So, tonight, as I lay here in the darkness of my living room, hearing only the repetitive breaths of my sweet doggie at my feet, I must make a choice.

A choice to either fear or to trust.

A choice to wait upon the Lord or become paralyzed by anxiety.

A choice to keep walking in faith or be overcome with doubt.

Here is what I know: God's Word is true. God knew Nick before he was formed. God loves Nick. God will not abandon or forsake Nick. God has a plan for Nick. God brings good out of every bad situation. God's promises never fail. God never fails. God's mercy is new every morning.

Thank you, Father, for being the Great I Am, the Alpha and the Omega, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. Who better to care for my son? In Your loving arms I place Nick's future. I continue to ask for and believe that You are a God of miracles and that if Your will can be fulfilled by healing Nick than You have the power to do so. I also, fraily and humbly, realize that Your ways are higher than My Ways. So, God, as my family passes through these waters, my deepest prayer is that You will continue to pass through with us.
In Jesus' Name, Amen
Are you in water over your head right now? Please know that I am praying for you too.
Thank you to everyone who visited my blog and left prayers and kind words. Thank you to everyone who is continuing to lift Nick to His Heavenly Father. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving.


Blogger Marla said...

Psalm 34:18-The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Continually praying for healing and God's Will. I am here for you.

Blogger Bonnelle Pagel said...

Sweet Tammy,

109 comments of people praying yesterday and I know that so many more besides were also lifting you up in prayer! What an awesome God! He covered you with His wings most definitely!!

Joining with you again today and everyday...

Lord, I thank You and praise You for being Tammy's Shepherd and in You she & Nick (& their family) have all they need. Thank You for daily bringing her to rest in the green meadows of time spent with You. Thank You for leading her beside the peaceful streams where You quiet her heart, renew her strength and restore her soul. Thank You for guiding them along the right paths & to each & every Doctor You have placed in their path. Thank You that in each situation they always bring honor & glory to Your Name.

Lord I pray that even though they are walking in the darkest valley a family can face, they know and we all know that You are right there beside them. Thank You for Your promise that says that You will NEVER, EVER leave them or forsake them. Thank You that they can bring their fears to You and they can rely on the Truth that You are with them.

Lord, I thank You that Your rod & your staff are protecting and comforting them and that You are preparing a feast for them in the presence of their enemy (a victory feast!)! Thank You for honoring them by anointing their heads with oil (to keep the pesky lies of the enemy away from their ears & thoughts).

Lord, thank You that each time I hear from Tammy or read her blog I can see that You are filling her cup to overflowing with Your blessings and sweet reminders of Your love & grace. Surely Your goodness & loving kindness & unfailing love will pursue them each and every day of their lives and together they will live in the house of the Lord.

Tammy, I know this is a very dark valley for you but know that I am with you but more importantly that God is with you, holding your hand, holding you up and that He won't EVER let go.

With much love,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found you from Lysa's blog too. I am touched by your story and wanted to hold you and Nick up to the Lord.I know you must be so proud of Nick who is so spiritually strong through his trials. But I also know that the Lord is proud of YOU for your godly example as well. Know that you are all on my prayer list for a long time to come. May the Lord bring peace and healing to your house.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

...continuing to pray....

Blogger Nicole said...


I can over from Lisa's blog. Praying for you and Nick. May you feel His peace.


Blogger Carmen said...

Abundant and merciful shalom over you -body, mind and spirit- this very moment...this very day...and may you continue to live in the Shadow of His glorious and comforting wing...

faithfully interceding...

Blogger Paula (SweetPea) said...

Sweet, sweet Tammy. Your words touch me every time. Your prayer is so genuine, so loving. I am in awe of your faith and endurance. Your trust in God, regardless of the outcome.

Continue to believe God for a miracle healing of your precious babe. Miracles are His specialty. Remember, impossible odds lead to amazing miracles. I believe Nick is already a miracle to have survived cancer for six years. Why believe God won't take you to the finish line of complete healing.

If you have a moment, I would encourage you to stop by my blog and read my post from last week entitled "Master's Touch, Our Faith". They are words from my heart and the Father. They are reassurance to me that I too must believe in God's power to provide my own miracle. There are so many times in scripture that shows Jesus healed, restored, granted, based on the believer's faith.

You have a remarkable faith and I encourage you to keep believing, keep submitting your heart to God, and surrending it all to Him.
You are much loved by so many people. Nick continues to be on my prayer list.
Much love and prayers, sweet one.

Has Nick been annointed for healing in a church service? James 5:14. I only ask because someone recently told me about another person who had this done.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lord I pray for Tammy today and her son Nick. I ask that you would give them strength and fill them with peace that transcends understanding. Lord please give them the courage to face each day even though they are unsure what they will face. I pray for your healing power to come upon Nick and free him from his enemy, cancer. Lord I praise you that this precious child has already beat many odds and has lived with this evil illness for six years! Lord along with many, many fellow believers I stand with Tammy in asking you for the miracle of Nick being completely healthy and whole and cancer free. Lord we all believe that you are a God who loves us and wants the best for our lives. You are a powerful God who delights in healing those who continuely seek You for a miracle. Lord nothing is impossible for you nor is there anything too large for you, so I pray for Nick, his health, his future, and the perfect plans that you have for him and his family. I pray this in Jesus' mighty and powerful name, Amen.

Blogger Sheryl said...

Love your heart, Tammy. Again I cannot imagine what you feel! I join you in praying for a miracle. Yes we are in over my heads but we know He will never let us go.

You inspire and I love ya,

Blogger Jennifer said...


I come to your blog each day wanting to leave you a note to encourage but every time it is ME who is blessed and encouraged and moved to tears by your beautiful words and testimony!! God is using you and your Nick every day!

Please know you are loved and prayed for every day by folks all over the world!

Love ya - my front porch friend,


Blogger Kimberly said...

I am humbled by your love for the Lord, for how you are clinging to Him and His promises. I found you through Lysa, as so many others did, and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for your precious Nick and for you,too.

Blogger Honea Household said...

My chest is caved in, too, in pain and heartache for you and your family. I pray for peace that passes understanding. I pray that you cup overflows with His lobe.

Isaiah 45:2-3

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your words & prayers are beautiful, your faith in God contagious! Praying, praying, praying.
sweet blessings,

Blogger Bridgett said...

I come to your and Nick's blogs almost daily and your faith and love for our Lord never ceases to amaze me! Such a powerful witness to us all of the faith and trust in our Lord that we should have. As Jesus said, "if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you." Matthew 16:20. Continuing to believe in the power of prayer and praying with you each step of the way--Bridgett

Blogger Julie P said...

What a beautiful devotion today! Those verses spoke straight to my heart, and the song "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" is one of my favorites. Many times I have found myself subconsciously humming that in the middle of a maddening situation. I just picture myself cuddled up close to the Savior, my face buried in His chest as He deals with everything around me. I pray that for you this day, that you would be able to cuddle up with the Savior, stay with Him, feel His loving presence. I have been praying for you and will keep it up. In His Love- Julie

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I read the words of your heart, and I don't even know you. I came over from Lysa's blog yesterday, and now have you as one of my favorites too. What an inspiration!! Stay strong and I am praying for you, Nick and your entire family!
Missy in WA state

Anonymous Missy Wilburn said...

Just wanted you to know that we are praying for Nick and the whole family. We have been through a lot but we have never had to deal with this. Let Nick know that we are praying for him not only my family but the church also (Princess Church of Christ).

Blogger Tiffany Stuart said...

I am praying for your family. Your faith floods out through your declaration of who God is and through your prayer. I echo your words.

Blogger Susan said...

Praying always...

What an incredible post, yes there is danger out there, without our Lord.

He is there.

He is able...

"Nevertheless I am continually with thee."
-- Psalms 73:23

Good Morning Tammy...

I just found your blog yesterday, I came over from Tammy Marcelain's blog. Your story of Nick is so touching.

So, today...Nick is included in my post of COME TO JESUS on our blog. It's a special day of PRAYER! So, there will be alot of people praying for you here.

If you have time, please come visit us.

Jan & Tom

Blogger Sarah said...

I've come to your blog today from Jan and Tom's and have been absolutely touched by your story. We will raise your family up in prayer for as long as you need us. May He bring peace and healing to your home.

Blogger Cheri said...

Praying for you tonight as you head to the Cinncinati tomorrow.
My prayers will be with you all day.

I cry out to God for your son.

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