Blooming Where We are Planted

Psalm 62:5-6

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

I awoke this morning at 5 a.m. and felt that very familiar feeling of dread and panic that has been waking me up quite often lately. The verses above are a couple I memorized during one of Nick's MRIs a year or so ago, and I turn to it often when I am feeling "shaken" by life's events.


As we finally drove to Cincinnati early this morning for Nick's appointment, I found myself falling in and out of sleep and when I would wake up I would whisper prayers.....prayers for hope and for strength.

It was good to see mom smiling through the window of the unfamiliar hospital. There's nothing like a familiar, smiling, loving face to make a lot of fears wash away. Where would I be today without my mom?

As we rode the elevator to a new hematology/oncology floor, it almost felt surreal. Nothing looked the same as Columbus. No recognizable nurses, doctors, security guards, receptionists.....we were strangers---visitors.

Sitting in the waiting room, I still felt out of place and sad. Was this really Nick's lot in life? Why? Why? Why? But then I could hear the whisper, "Why not?" After all, the rain falls on the just and the unjust...who am I to feel the right to be spared what any other parent in the room was facing as their hearts looked just as sad as mine?

When they said, "Nicholas," and we followed our nurse to the place where Nick would be weighed and measured, once again I had this feeling that we did not belong here. But as we ventured through the maze of hallways, she appeared very friendly, and by the time we arrived at Nick's room, we were all smiling and even laughing a bit. She told us that Nick was already quite popular there and that he had already been spotted in the lobby by someone who was expecting them. She then said that they may have to move us to a bigger room, because so many people wanted to meet Nick. Sure enough, they moved us to a bigger room and brought in four more chairs! Nick didn't know what to think.

We had to revisit Nick's past by starting from the very beginning of Nick's journey with cancer and telling in detail his life over the past 6 years. It was tough recollecting all of those memories and not breaking down at the reality of what Nick has lived, but we made it through. When Dr. Falaudi entered the room after our time with a nurse practitioner, she immediately hugged us all and was glad to meet us. She was precious. After two hours of consulting with us, the team from Cincinnati joined hands with me, mom, Tim, and Nick and we prayed together. Then we took a few pictures (of course), and we left to go eat. While having a late lunch, Mom, Tim, Nick, and I all took turns sharing what we thought about the decisions that had been placed before us.

We felt peace with one of the choices and decided to go back to the hospital and go ahead with the signing of the papers in order to speed up the process of beginning Nick's treatments.

The tough part was knowing that we would now be traveling to Cincinnati instead of Columbus for Nick's medical needs. We are all struggling with that. Nick even said on the way home, "I sold my soul to Cincinnati." He was having a hard time thinking about not seeing all of the nurses and doctors that he has grown to love over the past 6 years......so was I.

I want to take Nick to Columbus soon to visit everyone. I think that will be good for all of us.

Basically, Nick will begin a treatment that consists of an IV every three weeks. I cannot remember the name of the medicine, but we felt this was best option for Nick in order to prevent him from needing a picc line and in order to keep his "quality of life" at a level that is not depressing. We will reevaluate in about 6 weeks after we see if this new treatment is stabilizig and/or shrinking the cancer.

Like a flower that grows in an unexpected place and yet blooms beautifully, we want to take this time in Cincinnati and "bloom" into whatever it is that God wants us to be while we are there. I told Nick we will soon know nurses and doctors names. We will become familiar with hallways.

We will bloom petal by petal.

As for our dear doctors and nurses in Columbus, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We will miss you with every inch of our heart, but we will stay in touch. Please keep praying for Nick! He has a long road ahead of him.

Tonight, my eyes are heavy. But I wanted to send this before I went to sleep.

I love you all so much!

Please keep praying for Nick.....he is nervous....we definitely felt the prayers today! Thank you so much! I'll write more soon.


Psalm 33:21-22 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.


8 Comments:

Blogger Paula (SweetPea) said...

Oh sweet Tammy,
What heaviness but what joy. What a blessing to be greeted in such a way by the staff at Cinci...to be so well known and saught after as a patient. Nick must've felt like a star with everyone wanting to meet him. What a true blessing to have a doctor pray with you. I have never experienced that.

You have such a wonderful outlook on life and the circumstances in which you are placed.

Yes, may we all bloom where we are planted.
Much love and prayers,
Paula

Anonymous Marilyn said...

What a wonderful way that God has found to increase your harvest. He has once again given you a new "congreation" to share your love of the Lord with. I know that all of you and especially Nick will be a blessing to all those whom you will meet in this new place. They are being given the chance to minister to you and Goc has opened the door for you to minister to them. Amen

It sounds as if you have met some amazing Drs & nurses along your journey...and now the door is opening to some new faces and new opportunities to share the Lord's love with others.

Put your hope in him and he will give your rest. My prayers will continue for your Nick in the coming days and weeks.

In Christ,
Kim from PA

Blogger Cheryl said...

Tammy,

I'm thrilled to hear Nick has options. Just looking at your sweet son's face makes me smile. He's still smiling after what he's endured for 6 years, almost 1/2 of his lifetime. You can see God working in your family's lives.

To have a doctor pray for your son is so awesome! Though you will miss Columbia, it looks like God has placed you in the right place.

I have a note on my desk with Nick's name on it. Each time I look at it, I say a prayer!

May the Lord bless Nick and your family!

Cheryl

Blogger Susan said...

"Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee." Psalm 37:9.

Standing in the gap~

Blogger Carmen said...

Blessed be ADONAI, for He heard my voice as I prayed for mercy. ADONAI is my strength and shield; in Him my heart trusted, and I have been helped. Therefore my heart is filled with joy, and I will sing praises to Him. ADONAI is strength for [his people], a stronghold of salvation to his anointed.
~ Psalm 28:6-8

Blogger Sheryl said...

Through my tears, once again, I want you to know that it is a privilege to pray!! You will definitely be blooming in Cinci. Tammy, I can't imagine you and Nick not blooming wherever you are planted. Tell Nick that some strange lady from Michigan is praying. I cannot even imagine his nervousness but I will ask God to give me a burden to pray.

Love you,
Sheryl

Blogger Bonnelle Pagel said...

Tammy,
I didn't get a chance to post anything the night I read this but as I read over it again I wanted to be sure to add comments...

This was such an awesome reminder of how God goes before us every step of the way! I had a picture of Him running through the hospital proclaiming, "Have you heard? My son Nick has come! Welcome him everyone for in him I am well pleased!" I could see everyone standing as you walked by applauding and cheering you on and was just so blessed by HIS mercy and faithfulness!

I too was so impressed that the team would pray with you. In the time of Josiah's very first visit I can say that our Doctor didn't pray with us. And I was struck by what an awesome testimony of the spirit of God on your lives. I know that you spoke of His goodness in Nick's life through all of this. You are doing an awesome job blooming where you're planted. Continue holding onto His hand each step of the way.

I will be praying for you all through the weekend and Monday morning as well. Do not fear for the spirit of the Lord is upon you.

Love,
Bonnelle

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