Saturday after the alumni soccer game at KCU, my friend Martha and I ran to Homespun Sisters to buy a shower gift for another friend's daughter who is getting married next month.

We found this beautiful clock, word sign, and candle and thought it would be a perfect gift from us and two other ladies who were all going together on our gift......the message we wanted to send with this gift was

"Always make time for love."

But guess what?

We forgot to write that message inside the card! :(

Isn't that how it goes so many times?

We have an idea, an intention, a goal, a dream......but in the end, we don't carry through.

In the busyness of life at our house, taking time to show love is something that requires great effort and determination.

I have a lot of regrets in life.  One of them is not making the most of every opportunity to show love to my family.

But life isn't like a video game where we can "Start Over."  We have to  start where we're at and go from there.

Are there people in your life that need to hear the words "I love you?"  Are there family members who need to know how much you care about them? 

For tonight, I just wanted to say,  "Always make time for love."

I'm speaking at a retreat in February where the theme is "Authentic Friendship."  I believe that to be an authentic friend, we have to be able to make time to show our love to our friends.  So, tonight, in the craziness of all we are involved in right now, I wanted to say "I love you all so much," but most of all I wanted to say:

I love you, Tim.

Proverbs 17:16-18

A friend loves at all times........

Not being a seamstress myself, I was quickly overwhelmed this evening as Olivia was having her dress pinned to be altered..........

Overwhelmed to see this much thread in one room.......

Overwhelmed to think that someone actually alters over 500 dresses a year!

(I am happy when I sew one button on a shirt....a month!)

Overwhelmed to think that Josie's hands can maneuver this machine and transform evening gowns and wedding dresses into girl's dream dresses...

But more than all of that I was simply overwhelmed as I watched Olivia and Josie work together to get Olivia's dress fitting "just right."

Olivia's favorite moment of the night was when Josie discovered a  pocket in her dress! :)      

After the dress altering was finished, I joined Topsy, Wilma and Donna to make the mints for the wedding reception......

And I was overwhelmed again.......... Overwhelmed because my friends had sacrificed their evening to help me and my family....

Overwhelmed that cream cheese and powdered sugar could make such yummy mints!

Overwhelmed at the reality that the wedding is only two weeks from this coming Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!

When I think of all the things we have been working on over the past few months- the phone calls and emails that have been made- ......all to make sure that Erich and Mallory's day is perfectly beautiful, I can't help but think about the wedding we will be a part of when Jesus comes to claim His Bride, the church!!!!!!!!

I hope I am spending more time, emotionally and physically, preparing for that wedding day than this one!!

I want to be ready on that day..... not overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Revelation 19:6-20

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
   "Hallelujah!
      For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and be glad
      and give him glory!

   For the wedding of the Lamb has

come,

Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."

Praying you are preparing for that wedding day too!

Erich and Mallory!  We are so excited for you!

We love you!  (And Hugo!)

Doubt and Unbelief......

At first glace these words seem similar in many ways, but after reading chapter eleven of Joyce Meyer's book Battlefield of the Mind it was easy to see just how different these two words are when being spoken in reference to our relationship with God.

Doubt has to do with wavering between hope and fear. When we choose to be filled with doubt we will soon be filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

Unbelief, on the other hand, is much more serious.  When we choose not to believe we are choosing disobedience.

The devil uses BOTH doubt and unbelief to keep our minds all worked up.

Joyce talks about the faith that Abraham had to have to keep believing God's promise for a son years after the promise had been made.  He believed God's Word would come true....and eventually it did.

Joyce talks about Peter's desire to walk on the water to meet Jesus and how after stepping out of the boat and taking a few steps Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink.......doubt overcame him as he realized that he was doing something that was beyond human capability, and he chose to look too closely at the reality of where he was standing rather than keeping his eyes on the one who was leading him over his reality.

When I think about my personal life and the words "doubt" and "unbelief," I have to say that I have struggled with both at different seasons.

I remember writing to my mom and dad after we lost Adrienne and I was so sad.  I remember saying that I was struggling to believe..that I was beginning to feel like Jesus didn't love me.  In my mind I was beginning to believe that if He truly loved me, then He wouldn't have allowed our little baby girl to die.  Dad wrote me back and some day I hope I can find the letter that he wrote, because in it he told me that my belief in Jesus was not about how I "felt."  It was about KNOWING that Jesus is God's Son no matter what.  It took several years for me to climb out of the pit of depression after losing Adrienne, but I clung to those words.  I could not base my love for Jesus or His love for me on MY feelings.  My relationship had to be deeper and stronger than how I felt, because my feelings change dramatically from day to day.  Had I chosen to continue to allow my doubt to turn to unbelief, I would be a bitter, cold person today.  Unbelief leads to disobedience.  Thank you, Lord, for protecting me from that path.  If you feel that you are on this path, please know that I am praying for you right this minute..passionately and with deep love.

Years later when Nick began his fight with cancer, I entered an entirely new chapter of being stretched in the areas of doubt and unbelief.  Hearing of other people's children beating cancer and then discovering that Nick had yet another brain tumor became more and more difficult with every passing year.  Realizing that the doctors could do no more, I remember walking through every room in our house one night in the middle of the night, crying over Nick who was sleeping, and then over Todd as he was sleeping and then over Olivia as she was sleeping....all the time pleading with God to heal our son.  I finally came downstairs and woke up Tim and cried some more.  We went down to the family room and I cried and cried and told Tim that I couldn't live if Nick died.  I felt our life was spinning frighteningly out of control and I didn't know what to do.  We were walking in the valley of the shadow of death, and I wanted out of the valley.....desperately.

Through the prayers of many, many prayer warriors all over the world, we somehow gained a peace in those last few months of Nick's life and were able to share many more special memories, but I have to be honest.....it is still hard for me to hear of other people's miracles.  I have to make a choice EVERY TIME I hear a "God is so good, because He......" to not give in to unbelief.

Remember the kitten "Miracle" that arrived at our home a couple of months ago after being thrown from a car window?  Well, our cat Marbles has not liked Miracle ever since the minute she arrived.  I have felt great sympathy for Marbles and have jokingly said, "It's hard to live near a miracle when it's not yours."

I guess I say all of this today to say this:

If you are full of praise because God has answered your prayers in the ways you wanted, please be gentle near those who have not had the same kinds of answers.

And if you feel as if you have prayed and prayed, but God seems to be answering your prayers with a "no" or "wait," please do not give in to doubt or unbelief.

One day we will understand God's ways.......but that "one day" won't be while we're here on this planet; so it's best to not even try to understand right now.

That's where faith comes in.

We have to walk by faith......and often it is a walk that moves from faith to faith.......requiring a little more with each step we take.

Romans 1:17

(New American Standard Bible)

For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, "BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH."

This chapter really spoke to me this weekend. I want to walk from faith to faith not doubting or being overcome with unbelief.

Like Abraham, I want these words from

Romans 4 to be true for me too:

"Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."

Am I sad?  Yes

Am I full of joy? Yes

Do I have questions?  Yes

Do I know the One who will provide the answers?  Yes

Thankful, so thankful, for a God who understands how I can say "yes" to all these questions and who longs to help me win the battle for my mind.

Praying that you realize how much He loves you too.

I know this picture has nothing to do with doubt or unbelief, but it does have to do with trying to stay strong in the battle of life........See, this is me in Nick's football jersey with four of Nick's friends' moms in their son's jerseys last weekend the day after the football field dedication in memory of Nick.  As we all cried at the football field, I said to these friends of mind, "One day this will all make sense....IT BETTER!!" 

And deep inside, I know it will.  For me and for you. :)

Stay strong.  Keep your eyes on Jesus.

I love you all so much,

Well, I said it would be Friday night, but here I am.....

Writing a post on Thursday night.

I had a few moments of quiet and was thinking of all of you and thought "I'm going to look through my recent pictures and see if my spirit stirs."

And it did.

I came across the photo from my overgrown garden, and I remembered the day I took this picture.  Mom was here visiting, and I had gotten a new lens for my birthday.  We were trying some different kinds of shots and mom noticed the beach ball hiding in the weeds.  I took several pictures of the ball, but this one seemed to really pop out as I was looking through them.

I focused the lens on the stake in front of the beach ball instead of directly on the ball, because I wanted to capture summer slipping away.

But tonight as I was looking at this picture and how the focus changed the message of the photograph, I remembered one of my students last week recalling what it had felt like to score his first touchdown.

He came into the gym on Friday morning and was reliving the memory of the night before.  These were his words,

"It was like I had tunnel vision.  All I could think about was crossing that end zone.  I knew people were all around me cheering, but I couldn't hear anything.  I just kept running.  I had goose bumps when I crossed the line."

As I listened to him share this great moment in his life when he scored not just his first touchdown but an amazing 90-yard touchdown, I couldn't help but think about how it must feel to finish this race of life.  You hear of people seeing a tunnel of light who have near - death experiences.  You read in the Bible of how we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. 

It just made me think.

Will we have goose bumps when we reach the pearly gates?

I hope so!

I just can't get my mind around how wonderful that day is going to be!

In the midst of trying to understand several new software programs at school, trying to become more proficient at using technology in my lesson plans, handling discipline issues with kids who need so much attention and yet need so badly to learn, continuing to give all I have left at the end of the day to my family, and longing for quiet moments just like this where I can think out my thoughts onto a screen in front of me, I have got to remember that I am in a race..........

I have GOT to stay focused and remember that with tunnel vision I can blur out  the things around me that are distractions........

Distractions from Him..........

My prayer tonight is that tomorrow as I head out very early for "early duty" I can somehow stay.......

FOCUSED, FOCUSED, FOCUSED.

Yes, summer is slipping away much like the beach ball in my picture above......but for tonight that picture was asking me a question.

"Tammy, what are you focusing on?"

I remember a song that my dad had us sing at Adrienne's funeral,

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus-

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace."

Praying you can live today and every day with tunnel vision,

I Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Last week I had an evening at home where I could actually dive into a little cleaning.  I was actually so excited all day at work knowing that when I got home, I could get comfy, light some candles, and dig in to some house work! (I've always loved cleaning for some strange reason.  It's therapy for me.)

As I was cleaning, I opened the cupboard below to put something away, and I was horrified at the condition I had allowed something to get into - mainly because it was a place no one could really see.

Why does a door seem to make a mess less of a problem?????

Well,

Here's my closet now!  Yippee!!  Even though most people will never see the inside of this cupboard, I feel so much better!

Our minister is doing a sermon series on the subject of living "Inside Out" right now, and as I was working on this project I kept thinking about my heart.

No one can really "see" my heart so it's easy to let it get pretty messy.....

Sometimes it's good for me to just sit down and dump it all out before God and let Him throw away the things that have got to go and reorganize my passions so that I can have a heart that reflects Him beautifully even when no one is looking.

I have a lot of work to do.......

in the corners of my house and in the corners of my heart.

But step by step, I long to be a person who is living for Christ INSIDE OUT.

Have a great day!

I love you all!

I opened my blog to make sure this loaded properly and noticed that all of my hearts are missing on the sides. :(  I will have to check into this after work today...shew!  Maybe God has already taken "My Hearts" and dumped them out for a little reorganizing and purging......

I bought this mirror at a yard sale a few weeks ago, and I haven't had a chance to paint it yet or find a place for it to hang.  In the meantime, our dog Snoopy has found that she loves to lay right in front of it.......a lot!

I think she feels like she is not alone when she is here.  It is so cute.

Do you have a special place that brings you comfort?

I know mine is definitely NOT in front of a mirror?

Jesus went to the garden to be alone and spend time with God.

Where do you go?

Lately, I've had to be squeeze in early morning time and bedtime.  I also like to listen to CDs on the trip from work to home and home to work.  I'm not going to try to pretend, though, that I don't miss my longer quiet times that I enjoyed on days when I wasn't subbing.when I wasn't working full time.

I'm still trying to find a balance.

Snoopy has found her special place and time.

I'm still searching.  How about you?

Have a wonderful day!

Oh, and I woke up this morning thinking about the words I wrote about casting all my cares on my Heavenly Father, and I just wanted to be sure everyone knew that I am thankful for an earthly father who has shown me so much love and care too.  When I was writing about all the things I was thankful NOT to find when I reached out to God, I was thinking about how I often react when my kids need me.......parenting is not always easy. :)  I'm thankful that our Heavenly Father is a perfect Father in every way. 

Trying to be more like Him,

Seventeen years ago today Todd entered this world and helped begin the healing of our broken hearts after losing Adrienne to SIDS just two years before.

His infant months were very scary for me.  Every time his apnea monitor went off, I would come running.  I remember so clearly the day that I was making cookies and Todd was in his little baby swing.  As I slipped upstairs to put away some laundry, I heard the horrifying "beeping" coming from the living room....I dropped clothes all the way down the stairs to get back down to Todd, only to find that the beeping sound was simply the stove going off to say the cookies were ready.  Todd was just swinging and grinning ear to ear.  I remember sitting down and having a good cry.  My adrenalin level had reached its limit that day.

Lots of years have passed since that season of fear and sadness.

Todd journeyed through Nick's cancer with us every step of they way.  He still deals with grief and lots of times I'm not sure exactly how to handle his pain.  Nick and Todd were best buddies.  It feels good to just type the names Nick and Todd together, because I referred to them so often as a pair.

We're proud of Todd.

He spent today at a sports leadership conference in Lexington as a representative from the tennis team, and he started a college class for seniors tonight at KCU. 

Time seems to keep on ticking..........

So for tonight, I just wanted to wish Todd a happy birthday!

Tomorrow I'll share about the special football field dedication this past Saturday in memory of Nick.  It was more wonderful than I ever dreamed.

It's been a while since I've shared much family news, so here are a few family updates:

Erich and Mallory get married three weeks from Saturday!!!!!!! We're busy, busy with wedding plans. :)

Evan starts his internship tomorrow morning with Grayson Physical Therapy!  You may see him on Tuesdays in different schools in the county. :)

Maria finished her masters program!  Go, Maria!!  She is teaching high school Spanish again this year and researching schools for her doctorate program.

Tim's classes started back up tonight with a night class!  Between church and the college, his days are full.

I'm plugging along at West Middle.  Precious kids.  Rough lives. I think about them all the time and wonder what they are doing outside of school. Praying they are safe and loved.

Thank you for sharing life with me!  I love you all so much!  Post updates on your life ANYTIME by clicking on the words  "precious comments."  I love to hear from you!

I Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.

I remember hearing a sermon on this verse one time and how the word "cast" is all about throwing something out and not reeling it back in.

And then the word "all" is about EVERYTHING...not just a few things, but every single thing that is stirring up anxious thoughts in your heart and mind.

WHY SHOULD WE DO THIS?

Because He cares for us.

I love to think of a Father who doesn't take a deep sigh when I come to Him with a request as if I am keeping Him from what He really wants to do.

I love to think of a Father who always has time.

I love to think of a Father who is so absorbed in His children that nothing can cause Him to become exasperated.........

or disappointed......

or frustrated........

or tired......

When I picture God like this, I feel safe pouring out my heart.

And I believe that God wants us to feel safe with Him.

If you woke up this morning feeling anxious about your week or about your life, please know that you have a Father who wants to take it all from you and allow you to walk in peace.

I'm heading to work early and hoping that along the way, I can do some casting. 

PS  Our son Todd is 17 today!  Where does the time go????

Love you all,

Yesterday as I entered the hallway at school, I began to hear students talking about Mr. Becker's birthday.."He's 40!" I heard one boy say.  "Today's Mr. Becker's birthday!" I heard another kid say.  They were all so excited!

I walked down the hall to the room next to mine and said to my neighbor Mrs. Knipp, 'I didn't know today was Mr. Becker's birthday!"  She laughed and said, "Didn't you see the sign when you were coming in?"  We talked for a few minutes about the fact that I was on the phone with my mom as I was pulling in and somehow my mind must have been somewhere else.....and then I told Mr. Becker "Happy Birthday!" and headed to my classroom.  I thought to myself, "I'm going to have to look for that sign as I'm leaving today."

Later in the day the secretary of the school sent this picture in an email.

How in the world did I miss this?!?!?

All I can think is that a school bus was going by as I was driving in.......

I hope anyway!

As I was leaving school, my teacher neighbor was outside and said, "Did you see the sign?"

I told her I had gotten the email and couldn't believe it!  We both laughed.

She's a Christian too, so I knew she'd understand what I was saying as I walked over to take a picture.  I told her that sometimes God tries to speak that loudly and clearly, but we still miss it! 

I pray everyday that I will be still enough to hear from God.

Maybe His message yesterday was sent through a missed birthday announcement.........My prayer today is that God will still my heart, open my eyes, and "MOVE THAT BUS!" if He has to so I can hear what He wants me to hear!

Psalm 46:10

"Be still, and know that I am God;
       I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

I'm praying that today we can all "be still" enough to hear, see, and understand what God is trying to teach us.

I love you all!

Football season is beginning soon. 

Tim is trying to get back into the "swing" of his fantasy football teams.  This was something that Nick and Tim enjoyed so much.

As I was doing lunch duty the other day, I was talking to the boys as they went by and one boy was telling me about his favorite video game...

Madden 11

Shew.

My heart sank as I tried to keep a smile on my face.

Nick saved his birthday money every year in May so that he would be ready to go to WalMart at midnight in August when the next edition of Madden came out.

I miss those days.

So does Tim.

I just had to slip back in time this morning and find a happy picture of Nick wearing a football jersey.  This Saturday at 11:30 a.m. our county junior football league (Carter County JFL) is dedicating their field to Nick.  There will be a mural of Nick in his uniform on the side of the building eventually and an engraved rock on the 50 yard line that shares Nick's favorite verse  - Joshua 1:9. (Be strong and courageous..)  They are naming the field The Field of Courage.

I'm honored that Nick is leaving such a legacy,  but his smile is missed so much in this house.

I think that is why verses like this one are in the Bible:

Phil. 3:15

I press on toward the goal to win the

prize for which God has called me

heavenward in Christ Jesus.

If I am going to survive my grief, I have to cling to verses like this one.

While I can slip back in time and give thanks for all the wonderful years with Nick, I have to keep pressing on.....

so that I can win the prize!

Nick has won the race of a lifetime!

If you are reading this, you are still in the race!

Live for Jesus.

Press on toward the goal.

Win the prize.

Someday I want to hug all of you at the finish line!

All My Love,

A Confused Mind???

Proverbs 3:5-9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight.

After reading this chapter, I sat feeling very convicted.

I have lived many years of my life confused.  Questioning "why" things have happened the way they have?  "Why" my life has had so much sadness while so many other people's lives seem to have had very little?  "What if" I would have made this decision or that decision?  Would things be different?  better?  easier?

On and on the questioning goes....

Until I am a total mess.

In the end, I always come back to the truths that are buried deep within my soul.

First, God is love. 

Second, God cares about me.

Third, God sees every tear I cry.

Fourth, God's ways are not my ways.

Fifth, being with God is going to be so much sweeter than being here, so I have to believe that Nick and Adrienne are WONDERFUL even as I am still so sad.

Sixth, God is always working-even in my pain.

I could go on and on and on about all the truths I believe so deeply.

When I stop trying to reason away all of the things in my life that don't seem to make sense, I can allow God to step in and be my REASON....

Joyce says that having a confused mind is not from God.

I love this paragraph from her book,

"God gives us understanding on many issues, but we do not have to understand everything to walk with the Lord and in obedience to His will.  There are times when God leaves huge question marks as tools in our lives to stretch our faith.  Unanswered questions crucify the flesh life.  It is difficult for human beings to give up reasoning and simply trust God, but once the process is accomplished, the mind enters into a place of rest."  (pg. 100, Battlefield of the Mind)

I want to enter that place of rest daily.

Every morning as I drive to work I give my day to God, asking Him to speak to me.  But even more than that I ask Him to help me listen in the midst of students' voices, emails from school administrators, phone calls from other teachers, and on and on and on.......

The devil tries to fill our lives and minds up with everything he can in order to keep us busy, stressed, confused, and distracted from the One who longs to speak to us often in only a whisper.

I want to rest in Him and, like Paul writes below in I Corinthians, I do not want to live life confused but rather RESOLVED to know nothing except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

1 Corinthians 2:2

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.

Praying you have a day filled with the peace that comes from being resolved to know Him intimately,

I turned around in the hall the other day after school and this is what I saw:

All I could do was scream and run back into my classroom!  I had to crop this picture to get this close...I took it safely  from my classroom door.

I don't even like looking at this photograph, so I'm typing as fast as I can,so that I can move this picture up out of my view.

As I think about the fear I have of snakes, it makes me wonder what kinds of things should really send me running?

The Bible says to "flee from evil."  Now, I personally think that snakes are evil, but in the end I don't think a snake can keep me from Heaven.

But evil can.

So, my prayer today and every day is that I will have my radar up and be ready to run when conversations are not Christ-centered, when television shows are not wholesome, when movies do nothing to make me feel closer to God, and on and on and on........

I don't want to be a halfway Christian who picks and chooses the times I want to be holy.

I really do want to be sold out for Him. 

I think we live in a day and age when the line is going to be drawn in the sand over and over again, and we are going to have to choose Jesus or the world.

I'm praying that today as you face decisions in this world that you will see evil in the same way I saw this snake......

terrifying!

And I'm praying that you will run the other way.

Matt. 6:13

And lead us not into temptation,
   but deliver us from the evil.

I love you all so much.  Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Oh, and I haven't forgotten the next lesson in Battlefield of the Mind!  I will do that tonight!!

Praying for all of you,

I don't know about you, but there are a lot of days when bouncing between laundry, dishes, cleaning bathrooms, driving to school, teaching middle school kids, cooking dinner, and working the concession stand at Olivia's games starts to feel  a little like a meaningless game of ping pong..........

At the end of the day, I find myself curled up in bed, exhausted, and trying to recall a moment in the day when I know for sure that either I heard from God or He heard from me......

Or even better, someone else heard about God from me.....

Maybe that's why I blog.

Because in this crazy thing called life, I want to know that somehow I am leaving a legacy that points to Him.

I want to have some value.

We've been talking about place value at school, and I took some time one day to talk about the power of the number zero.

Think about this:

If 2,047,002 was written without the digit zero in it, it would only be..

2,472!!

That's a big change!

I looked up the word "zero" in the dictionary, and one definition is "naught or nothing."

I asked my students if they ever feel like they aren't worth much.  Many of them said, "yes."

The truth is:  We all feel a little lacking in value from time to time, because the devil is most effective when he makes us the least effective.

After I showed the kids just how powerful a "zero" can be, I explained that in life we all have value even our most meaningless day.

We decided to throw a Zero Party and share snacks that were shaped like a zero!  We had so much fun!

  For me this is going to be a year when I am going to have to make a conscious decision EVERY DAY to remember that no matter how meaningless my routine can seem to feel.....GOD IS STILL WILLING TO USE ME IF I ALLOW HIM TO.

I hope that you see your worth even on a zero-kinda day.  Remember, God's view of the world is totally opposite of man's.....in His eyes, I'm just guessing that a "zero" is the most precious number!!!

II Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I love you all, and I think you are each worth a 1 with a million zeros! 

Ephesians 3:14-20

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

We're working on adding fractions with unlike denominators right now, so I thought it might be fun to do some "real-world" practice.....

I brought some salt to school and a variety of measuring cups and spoons.

The kids had to add up all their different measurements after finding the least common multiple of the various fractions (1/3, 1/2, 1/8, etc.)

I hope the lesson helped them see how math is used in real life.  I know the lesson helped me....but in a totally different way!

Tonight as I was thinking about what I wanted to say to all of you, I was looking through my pictures and came across these of my students' hands as they were working on their activity.

It struck me that as they were measuring salt from one cup to another simply to work a math problem, I often find myself measuring my "abilities" as a mom/wife/teacher with no real purpose other than making myself feel inadequate.  And that's a REAL PROBLEM....not just a math problem.

I texted a friend early today and said, "I NEED RECIPES WHENEVER YOU CAN SEND SOME!  I'm not juggling all of these roles very well!"

Her reply made me laugh, because she said "Hang in there, clown friend! Aren't clowns suppose to be good jugglers!?"

See, we have a little clown joke going on in our friend circle and she reminded me that life is suppose to be enjoyable not stressful.  Then after school today, I went to talk to another math teacher about what she is doing in class right now.  She gave me a book to get some ideas from....and I couldn't believe it when I opened the book and found this assignment!!!

Chuckles is the name of the clown from the Mary Tyler Moore Show that me and my friends have laughed about together!!

I know this probably sounds silly, but I truly believe that God gave me a reason to smile today in the teacher lounge as I stayed late to run some copies.

  My devotion this morning was all about being okay with weakness and allowing God to work through our fragile spirits. 

I am not going to pretend that I am not weak.  I am not going to pretend that my grief has reached a point where I can talk about Nick without tearing up......and honestly, I hope I never get to that point.  I am not going to pretend that teaching full-time is easy.  I am not going to pretend that keeping things in order at home, preparing meals, keeping up with laundry, being a "fully present" mom, and all the other things that fall on my daily list (with help from Tim) are easy.  I do often feel like a clown that is trying to juggle too many different kinds of balls.  I remember hearing one time that as women we need to decide which balls are made of glass and juggle those the most carefully, and that is what I am trying to do.

I'm trying.........and while I don't always feel that I measure up to what is acceptable.......

I will keep on trying.

Today, God used a friend and a math book to make me laugh.

I'm going to fall to sleep tonight thinking of all the reasons I have for smiling instead of the reasons that I could be dreading the sound of my alarm at 5:15 a.m.

Praying you find a reason to "CHUCKLE" today in spite of what your days holds and praying you remember that the only measuring up you have to do happens in the presence of God,

Matthew 20:20-21
Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling
down, asked a favor of him.
"What is it you want?" he asked.
She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the
other at your left in your kingdom."

When I  first heard the story of this mom who was bold enough to ask Jesus if her two sons could be the ones seated on each side him in Heaven, I remember thinking that she must have been one of "those" moms who always had to have her kids be a starter on the basketball team, a starter on the soccer team, the captain of every club, and the owner of every new "gadget" available for kids their age.

However, I have a different view of this mom now that I have two children in Heaven.  Imagining Nick and Adrienne anywhere EXCEPT right next to Jesus is something I do not want to do.  I want to know that every minute of every day my little baby girl and my sweet son are so close to Jesus that the thought of missing me would not even enter their minds.

There's just something comforting about thinking that they are both in very special chairs in Heaven.

And I just have to believe that somehow God allows each of our family members who have gone before us the opportunity to sit in that special seat AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I decided to take a comfy chair to my classroom this year.

On the first day of school, it was quite the conversation piece with the students.

"When can I sit there?  What is that chair for?" were questions I heard off and on all day long.

Well, after thinking about it for a few days, I decided that it was silly to have a special chair if we didn't make it special.....

So......

We had a little drawing and each child has a special day to sit in the special chair every week!!!  (This is definitely one nice thing about only having five students in each class!)  If you had a bigger class, you could easily have a drawing for monthly winners. 

I just can't believe how faithfully the kids have remembered their special day! 

I typed up the rotation schedule and taped it on the shelf next to the chair, but I don't think the kids have ever had to look at it.

If their day is Monday, they are in that chair on Monday; and if their day is Tuesday, you will find them sitting in that special chair before you even have to mention it.....

It makes me smile to see how something so simple has become so special.

I think the offer to be near Jesus is just as simple and SO MUCH MORE SPECIAL!!!!!

We don't even have to wait for our special day!

Jesus wants to sit with us every day..all of us...all the time...

Before I slip off to bed (notice that I am going to bed a little earlier than just a month ago!), I wanted to take a minute to simply tell you all how special you are to me and how special you are to God.

No matter what you're facing in life, never, ever, ever forget that God has your name engraved on the palm of His Hand and He is holding your life safely in that very same Hand! 

Now that's what I call "A VERY SPECIAL CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Resting in the Safety of His Hand-MY SPECIAL CHAIR,

While Tim and I were out to dinner with my mom and our kids celebrating my birthday (let's don't talk about which birthday this is).....

One of Nick's best friends walked into the restaurant and delivered me a birthday cake PENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it amazing!!?!?!?!?!?!?

I needed a little message from Nick!!!!!!! 

And I am so thankful that I got one!!!!!

I wanted to share pictures of the cake, and I also wanted to be sure that everyone knew that this is National Smile Week!!

When I arrived at work this morning, our principal was giving everyone a smiley-face sticker to wear on "Go West!" day.  This is me and my  "school next door neighbor," science teacher Mrs. Knipp wearing our "western wear" and our smiley faces!  She is a blessing in my life already!!

I'm ending today's post with one of my most favorite verses.  I hope the words in this verse help keep you smiling this week no matter what your days may hold.

Phil. 4:4

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS:

AGAIN I SAY, REJOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember hearing a sermon about how Paul wrote this Scripture from a prison cell, and I remember thinking that if he could rejoice during such a difficult time in his life that surely I could rejoice in mine.  I never realized how painful life would get at so many different times throughout my journey into adulthood, but I am thankful for the sermon I heard when I was only 10. 

Rejoicing tonight because of the Hope I have in Him,

On my first day of school, I noticed that my phone said, "message for you" in the little box above the numbers.  I called the office and found out that they don't have a message service on their phones.  So it has said, "message for you" ever since school began and I guess it might all year long. I keep my favorite little devotional at school so I can read it from time to time when I have a minute.

It just occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, God wants me to remember that there is a message for me.........and for you......

From Him......

Anytime......

Anywhere.......

We just have to take the time to "listen."

I hope you hear from Him today.

Listening,

Is your mind prone to wandering or wondering?????

If so, this chapter is definitely one you want to read.

Joyce talks about how important it is to "fix our minds" on the things of Jesus.

When we allow our minds to wander we are giving the devil a "foothold."  And then "wondering" takes our wandering a step further away from God.

For example, as our mind wanders we may start asking questions like, "I wonder what life would be like if this or that wouldn't have happened."  Eventually we will become discouraged, distressed, or discouraged, all of which rob us of joy and contentment.

So, as you walk through this next week try to pay attention to how often your mind begins to wander and make a decision to regroup and focus on Him. 

Wouldn't it be great if the only thing we ever "wondered"about was the "wonder" and power of the cross?!

1 Peter 1:13 

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Setting  my Hope on Him,