I love books.

I love to read.

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky, this morning needing to get ready for a day full of workshops and trainings for academic team coaching, but I had to take some time to read before jumping into the day.

And I'm so glad I did.

One book I picked up recently at a Goodwill store in Columbus (when I was with my clown friends) is called "EPIC: The Story God is Telling and the Role That is Yours to Play," by John Eldredge.

It's a small book and I recognized the author as one I had heard of, so I decided to buy it.

When I was packing yesterday morning, I put it in my bag in case I had a little quiet time.

This morning after I read the Bible, I picked it up.

Immediately, I knew this book was going to be "just what I needed to read" as I read the quote by G.K. Chesterton at the beginning which says,

"I had always felt life first as a story and if there is a story there is a story teller."

Growing up, I always thought of life as a story.

I can remember talking with my sister after big events in life ended.  We would say, "Well, it's time to start a new chapter."

Or when something big was starting it was always, "Wonder what will happen in this chapter?"

Even though I wasn't reading during those years, God was writing.

And as I read Eldredge's first chapter, I knew that even now God is still writing in my life and in yours.

My Bible reading this morning included the story of Mary coming to the well and meeting Jesus there.

If you've read that story you know that this particular Mary had experienced some pretty rough chapters in her life, and even at this moment was living in sin with a man who wasn't her husband.

Her story was one that I am sure she was ashamed of, and meeting Jesus at the well was not the chapter she was expecting to be part of next.

Look at this picture.

It almost brings tears to my eyes when I think of how critical this moment was in Mary's story.

After this conversation she is about to have with a Man she has never met, Mary's life changes forever.

She goes from sinner to redeemed, hopeless to filled with hope, lost to found, forsaken to loved, used to cherished.......

And the path she took to get to this moment was a path she walked on nearly every single day.

I don't know about you, but I feel a kind-of excitement this morning when I remember that God is always working even when we may feel that things are mundane and hopeless.

Maybe your job is miserable.

Maybe your marriage is falling apart.

Maybe you are making really bad decisions.

Maybe you are lonely.

Maybe you are sad.

Maybe you are bored.

However you find yourself today, remember this,

Jesus longs to show up on your everyday path and transform you.

This blog post may be His way of stepping in and changing you.

A conversation with a friend today may be the very thing you need to turn your life around.

I don't know.

But I do know this, God loves you.

He created you for a purpose and He has plans for you!!!

Life is not easy.

But when we face tough times, God still has the pen in His hand and He is writing, using even the things the devil throws into our lives as ways of reaching us.

Like a movie director who sets the stage perfectly for a powerful drama to unfold, God looks at you and says, "I want this story to mean something!"

I wish I could write more, but the clock is ticking way too quickly.

I just had to take time to say this,

YOU ARE PART OF A BIGGER STORY THAN JUST THE LITTLE WORLD AROUND YOU!

And everyone you meet is part of a bigger story too!

Be thankful for all the characters in your story and ask God to show you how He is using and them to draw the world closer to the Author and Perfecter of our faith!

I love you all so much!

Jesus didn't like what He saw when He entered the Temple in John chapter 2.

He was so upset that he made a whip from ropes and drove out every vendor and every animal.

He turned over tables and made people leave.

I'm sure the disciples were standing speechless as they watched the series of events unfold.

The calm Jesus they knew and loved had suddenly become anything but calm.

In John 2:17 it says,
"Then his disciples remembered this prophecy about Jesus from the Scriptures, "Passion for God's house will consume me."

As I sit here this morning trying to sort out all my thoughts about work, all the details of my trip to an academic team training that starts tonight in Louisville, all the last-minute plans that go along with the 5K that is happening a week from Saturday, I have struggled with the words I read in John 2.

Jesus did not approve of the Temple of God being used as a Market Place.

What was supposed to be sacred had become a place to make a profit.

A place for worshipping God had been replaced with a place for buying things to try to please Him.

So many times in my life, I have allowed my personal temple to be transformed into something I don't like.

I just wonder what Jesus would remove from me today if He could come and "clean out" all the things that don't belong.

I feel like the little kid who keeps touching something hot even after I know it's going to burn me.

With a deep breath, I'm asking God to continue to point out all the areas of my life that need purged.

Like a closet in deep need of a makeover, I am asking God to clean me, empty me, reorganize me.

I'm praying that once again I can reach a place where I say, "No," and I don't feel like I'm going to disappoint people.

I will always say that one of the most guilt-free times in my life was when Nick was sick.

I didn't feel guilty about staying home.

I didn't feel guilty when I said, "No."

I didn't feel guilty focusing on my family.

I knew that taking care of them was the most important part of my life, and I was happy to be doing just that.

I don't want to whine this morning.  I am thankful for so many things about my life.

But I do know that some things are upside down, some things are too chaotic.

And I believe Jesus just might do some passionate purging if I allowed Him to enter my Temple and have His way.

Today, I'm praying that all of us will look deep within our own lives and ask one question,

"If Jesus showed up today, what would He remove from my life so that I could worship God more freely?"

I want to be a Temple for God that invites worship not chaos.

I want to be a Temple for God that is focused on loving Him not trying to please Him.

I want to be a place He enters and feels at home not in the way.

"Help me, Lord, to clear out all the clutter and make room for You."

This may take a little time, but I can tell it's coming.

And I'm getting excited!

This morning my Bible reading included the time when Jesus was separated from His parents for three days as they traveled back to Nazareth after the Passover.

Jesus was 12 years old and he had chosen to stay in Jerusalem without telling His mom and dad.

Mary and Joseph searched for Jesus for three days before finding Him in the Temple sitting and talking with the religious teachers.

The Bible doesn't say a lot about those three days.

But this morning as I was reading, I was wondering what those three days must have been like for Mary and Joseph.

Three long days.......

that included three long nights.

I'm just thinking that Mary and Joseph had to be feeling a lot of anxiety and fear.

To be chosen as the parents of the Son of God and then to lose Him..........

I'm wondering this morning if there was any significance to the three day time period.

The Bible says that after they found Jesus they returned to Nazareth and Mary "stored up all these things in her heart."

I have to believe that after Jesus' death on the cross, Mary reflected on all the memories with her son and this particular memory must have come back into her mind.

Three days without her Son.

Not understanding where He could be.

Afraid.

Confused.

Defeated.

Sad.

We don't really know a lot about Mary's emotional side throughout the Bible, but we do know this.

She trusted God.

And I'm just thinking that this little story of Jesus' separation from his mom and dad at the age of 12 had more than one purpose, and one of them might have been to help Mary make it through the time between Jesus' death and resurrection.

I can almost hear her tearfully praying, "Lord, I trusted you when my Son was 12 and I couldn't find Him.  He was with you all along.  I'm trusting you again even though it's hard."

After I read the Bible this morning, I opened my computer to write to all of you.

My Facebook page was still open from yesterday, and I had received a message from my dear friend Linda Sparks.

As I read her words and then watched the video she had sent, tears ran down my eyes.

I believe the song she sent to me this morning is the song all grieving and broken moms, including Mary, sing every day.

I believe it's also the song that anyone sings who is trying to trust God and make it in this world, especially when they are walking in a valley.

I wanted to share it with you today.

Cissy Houston sings a tribute to her daughter Whitney Houston

Praying you will place your life in His hands today,

(Click the arrow on the playlist to the right just under my picture if you want my blog music to play while you are visiting here.)

It was 3:30 a.m. when we finally went to bed.

Visiting with old friends and playing Pictionary Man for hours was a perfect way to spend our Friday night together.

When you're with people you love, time seems to slip away so quickly so you soak up every second....cherishing every laugh, every funny memory.

Crawling out of our beds the next morning, we all returned to the kitchen table and again chose to pass many more hours talking over coffee and sharing all kinds of things about each of our life journeys.

There's no way to measure the worth of friends in money.

Only in time.

And that's what we had this weekend!

Time to laugh.

Time to share.

Time to hug.

And tme to shop.....in second-hand stores, of course!

When Donna found clown noses in a Goodwill store, we couldn't pass up the chance to embrace the moment and just be silly!

(This pose below was for my mom who had childhood friends who did this with their hands when they were too excited to contain themselves!)

We were so excited to find clown noses, because we had already spotted a clown suit earlier in the day!

And we have such fond memories of clowns together from several years ago.

With flashing clown noses on each of our faces, we hopped in Christine's Trailblazer and headed out on an adventure!

Stopping at red lights with our red noses blinking, we watched for people in cars around us to look and wonder what in the world we were doing!

I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time!

I'm pretty sure the Starbucks employees are still talking about us!

I'm so thankful for the memories of Saturday!

I'm especially thankful, because Sunday seemed to slap me back into reality with a brutality that is difficult to explain.

I was soooo sleepy.

(That should have been a warning.)

Fatigue does a number on my emotions, so I was already weak when reality slipped back into my life.

See, napping is risky for me, because waking up from an afternoon sleep seems to push me back in time.

Especially when I nap next to Tim while he is watching football.

I wake up feeling an anxiety that is hard to put into words.

It's like my heart has travelled back in time, and the sudden realization that it is Sunday afternoon always sends my head spinning with memories of Nick.

I can't explain it except to say that "Sunday afternoon naps aren't good for me anymore."

My heart begins racing when I wake up to the afternoon light with sounds of a football game in the air.

Immediately, I find myself feeling as if Nick is going to come through the door saying "hi" or be sitting in the room right there with us watching the game.

And in the cruel minutes that it takes to remember that Nick will ever again be right here in this room with us while we are on this earth, I find myself slipping.

Slipping into a sadness so deep I can barely breathe.

I try to regroup.

I try to remember that Nick is better off than all of us....

In the presence of God forever.

But sometimes it's not enough to have faith when you're grieving.

Because no matter how much I believe in eternity it doesn't change today.

Today, Nick is not here.

I go to choir practice with a fake smile, clown nose stuffed in my purse as if that memory is a childish attempt at "playing like I'm normal," when I know I never will be.

And I try to sing along with songs that make salty tears creep out of my eyes and onto my cheeks.

Songs that speak of not understanding God's plan but trusting anyway.

I try to laugh with the ladies around me in between the songs, and I hide my hurt behind comedy when I want to run to my car where I don't have to hide my agony.

And finally it's over, and I'm able to climb behind the steering wheel of my car.

And a dear friend sits with me as I let the tears flow hard and heavy.

I miss Nick.

I want to touch him, hug him, hear his voice.

I want to have another chance at being a busy mom with all my kids at home.

I want to go back in time and somehow change my present tense world.

But I can't.

So, I cry until the tears are gone.

I empty the hurting me into a Kleenex and onto my sleeve.

I breathe deep the promise that "the Lord is close to the brokenhearted," and I drive home.

And I think that if God is really close to me, I'd love to see Him, feel Him, know He's near.......

Then He shows up.

Not as an angel but as a KCU football player.

One of my football boys comes over to pick up the brownies I made for him earlier in the day; and as we talk, he hears the shakiness in my voice.

(I'm sure he also notices the mascara lightly smeared below my eyes.)

He asks if I'm okay, so I tell him a little about Nick as I point to some pictures on our wall,

and then he begins to share his story.......

His story is what God wants me to hear.

He tells about his mom.....

A mom who isn't really part of his life anymore.

A mom who was addicted to drugs for most of his childhood.

A mom who never quite recovered from the death of his little brother.

And he talks of how he was only three when his brother died

and how he still carries his brother's birth and death dates on his football bag.

Suddenly, I know that God has sent this football player to me because he needs a mom and because his mom needs a friend and because I have love to share with both of them.

I realize with perfect clarity that had I not had tears earlier, I never would have heard about Caleb's personal pain.

I hug him, give him his brownies, and send him on his way, telling him I'll see him Saturday at the football game.

I think back on my weekend; and I realize that God was preparing me for this moment, surrounding me with friends who love me.

I am aware with every inch of my being that "clowning around on Saturday" eased my pain long enough to prepare me for Sunday.

So I'm going to carry my clown nose in my purse for a long, long time, reminding me to keep smiling and to keep crying.

Reminding me that it is good to laugh.

But that it's also okay to cry.

As a matter of fact, I slipped the flashing red nose over my nose tonight during an academic competition

just long enough for one of my coach friends to see as she was whispering something very serious into my ear.

I'm hoping that the laughter that comes from seeing me in a clown nose from time to time will temporarily ease the pain for others just as it eased my own.

And I hope that I can be the mom my football player never had and the friend his mom never knew.

I'm praying that God can keep transforming my pain into opportunities for sharing His love with a hurting world.

Tim told me once that he believes that God has called me to be like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet.

I'm beginning to believe that he is right.

And that's okay.

My Bible reading this morning listed a series of genealogies and then the assignments of various people in the temple.

I kept thinking, "How does this apply to me?"

And then it hit me.

The temple is now me!

The temple is now you!

We carry the Holy Spirit inside of us instead of having to go to a certain place and have a high priest enter the Holy of Holies for us.

So, when I read about all these people who had certain roles in and around the temple, I keep thinking of how we all have responsibilities in and around each other.

What I'm taking from my reading today is this:

I am not only the temple of the Lord, I am a gatekeeper for others, a guard, a trusted official for others.

So are you.

God has entrusted us all with His Spirit as well as the ability to help others protect His Spirit.

Do something today to help another Christian in their life as a temple of God.

If God can distract us from His Work, we not only become a fragile temple, we also become a poor gatekeeper and unreliable guard.

Praying for you all today.

Thanks for your prayers for me.

I love you,

After the wall was rebuilt in the book of Nehemiah, the Israelites began to move back into Jerusalem and settle into towns.

One of the first things they did after getting settled was join together and ask Ezra to read from the Book of the Law of Moses.

As he read and they began to understand the messages from God and how far they had strayed from God's law, they began to cry.

Nehemiah told them "Don't weep.  This is a sacred day!" 

So the people went away to rejoice, because they "had heard God's Words and understood them!"

In the next chapter of Nehemiah, the people come back together and I love the series of events that takes place.

First the people begin to go over the law in greater detail.

Then they discover what the Lord had commanded them to do long ago.

And then I love what it says next.........

"The people went out" and did exactly what the law said to do.

Then it says, "They were filled with great joy!"

I don't know about you, but I struggle to always be the person God's Word calls me to be.

I fall short time and time again.

Sometimes I fall so short that like the Israelites, I cry.

But what power awaits me and you if we realize that when we read God's Word and understand our flaws, it is time to celebrate.

Because with the understanding comes a chance to do something!

CHANGE!

I want to be like the Israelites who went away rejoicing and then returned to study more closely exactly what they needed to do next.

And then do it!

I want God's Word to continually change me into the person God wants me to be.

I am on a journey.

So are you.

The destination is Heaven.

Our map is the Bible and when we read it, we get the next bit of direction....

the next turn in our walk with God.

We are not all at the same place, but we are all "some place" on the road.

I tend to look around at who is with me on the journey instead of ahead at who is leading me.

I tend to compare my steps to those beside me instead of to the footsteps of Jesus right in front of me.

I tend to trip and stumble because I look down at the path with all of it's bumpy patches instead of looking up and realizing that God is ahead of me "smoothing the rough road."

I want to run on this journey, not stagger along barely making it.

Yes, life is stressful.

Yes, jobs are demanding.

Yes, people are disappointing.

Yes, things don't always come easy.

BUT..............

Jesus set a powerful example of what it means to live a life with great significance.

He walked to Calvary for us, and I'm just thinking that His path was a lot more difficult than any we have walked.

So, as you open God's Word remember this.

It may cause you to cry.

But then rejoice because it has moved you.

Then study it more.

Do what it says.

Be filled with joy.

And keep striving to be exactly who God longs for you to be!

Have a happy Thursday!

Love,

"The people who slowly become typical have the greatest problem wrapping their minds around a dynamic friendship with an invisible, alive God."

...from Love Does, by Bob Goff

When I read this sentence this morning, I had to stop and read it several times in a row.

I love the thought of having a dynamic friendship with God, and I really love the idea of it being okay to not be "typical."

When I look at the clouds and think I see things like the word, "HI," or a cross or the sun shining through in a very special way, I love thinking that maybe, just maybe, God is speaking to me.

When I see a heart chipped out of pavement in the parking lot, I love feeling special......in a very "un-special" moment.

I've often wondered if when we get to Heaven God might show us all the times He tried to say "hi" and we missed it.

Maybe we're looking down at our phones when a butterfly passes by with a color so brilliant it would have taken our breath away.

Maybe we are so focused on the yard needing mowed that we miss the sight of one little wild flower popping up in the midst of weeds.

Who knows how many times God tries to get our attention, but our hectic schedules, our fast-paced lives, get in the way of our friendship with the Creator of the Universe.

I am probably the last person to talk about slowing down...........

But deep inside I know this,

In the midst of being a full-time employee of a school system and the mom of a busy high school girl and a volunteer at church, I make my relationship with God a very important part of all I do.

I talk to God often in the car as I'm driving.

I look for messages in clouds.

I listen for His messages in the voices of friends and strangers.

Yes, I'm in a busy little season.

I'm trying to soak up every part of Olivia's high school career because I know how quickly she'll be off to college and then my role as "mom" will end in the fulltime sense,

but even in the craziness of our life right now,

my friendship with God is growing deeper and deeper

and

I feel less and less typical every day.

And I love it!

Today, do something "untypical" as you go about your day.

Look up instead of down.

Look out instead of in.

Talk to God out loud in your car.

Whisper a prayer as you're teaching or taking care of a patient or whatever it is your job involves....

Do something to break the "typical cycle" of life and embrace the idea of having a dynamic friendship with an invisible, alive God.

I promise you'll feel His presence in a special way when you do!

He's with you.

He's waiting.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zeph. 3:17

Karen Kingsbury, America's favorite inspirational novelist, has a new book which will be released on October 23rd, The Bridge.

I had the opportunity to pre-read this sweet story last weekend, and I loved every page.

Karen's ability to move from one character's thoughts and feelings to another's captivated me.

I found myself thinking about the characters long after I stopped reading, as if they were part of my family and I needed to know how they were doing.

Centered around a small bookstore in Tennessee, the characters in this book discover that there is more to life than money and fame.

After you read this book, you will want to read more, laugh more, love more, and simply live more fully.

I have one copy of this book, and I am hoping to receive a few more to give away!

If you would like to be entered in a drawing for Karen's book, The Bridge, please post a comment below that includes your name and email address.

I have a friend who was able to go on a cruise hosted by Karen Kingsbury, and I can say with confidence that Karen is as genuine in her personal life as she is in her writing style.

She calls every reader a "friend," and she treats every human being as an equal.
I truly believe she writes from her heart with the goal of making life a little better for everyone who chooses to pick up one of her books.

The next time you are in a library or a bookstore, look for one of her novels and see what you think.

I wanted to let you all know that Amanda is still in the hospital, but she is hanging in there.  I spoke with her on the phone for a few minutes yesterday, and it was good to hear her voice. 

Thank you for your prayers.

Have a wonderful Tuesday and make a difference in someone's life today.

You never know how God is planning to use to make someone else's day a little better.

I love you all,

It was a normal Monday morning, or so I thought.

I pushed "snooze" on the alarm clock several times and entered that half-awake state where my mind started wandering, feeling a sort of heaviness about the pace this week holds at work and after school.

Thankfully, Tim prayed for our week before I got out of bed.

Prayed for each of our kids by name.

Prayed for friends who are feeling overwhelmed with life.

I took the puppies out and started the coffee.

Everything felt routinely normal, looking back the normalness of the routine almost seems robotic as I knew the next thing would be getting a cup of coffee and sitting to read my Bible.

And then I heard Tim's voice from the bedroom,

"Scott (he is our minister and Tim's friend) sent a text at 3 a.m."

Immediately I hurried to the door of our room.

I knew something had happened.

I didn't know what to expect.

Then he told me of a couple at our church losing their baby in the middle of the night.

She was due in just two months.

My heart broke immediately as I have just begun to share in the joy of this coming baby.

This sweet first-time mom is my youth group partner at church on Wednesday nights with the 8th grade girls.

We talk about her baby every week.

The girls and I were planning a shower.

And now, Amanda is in a hospital bed, heartbroken and, I know, confused.

And I'm here fixing a cup of coffee and preparing to go to work when honestly I just want to be doing something for Amanda.

And yet I know nothing I do or say is going to take away the heartache.

Nothing.

So, I returned to the kitchen and got my predictable cup of coffee but as I pushed the button, causing coffee to fill my cup, tears filled my eyes and I wept.

I wept for every mom who is called to this road of heartache.

I wept for every husband who has to watch his wife suffer in physical and emotional pain...unable to carry any of it for her.

I wept for the unfairness of life and how I hate to see anyone experience loss but how it just seems extra-cruel when it's someone who loves God as much as Amanda does.

I just wept.

I sent a text to a friend whose daughter is in our small group at church, a mother who also lost a baby several years ago and who knows heartache like I do, asking her to pray and asking her what we should do.

And then I took my "every-day cup of coffee" and found my Bible, and I read for a while about Nehemiah's desire to rebuild the wall.

I read about God's promise to "brighten the eyes and grant relief" to His people.

Then I began reading Bob Goff's book, "Love Does."

I knew that just as Nehemiah's love for his people caused him to risk asking the king if he could return home, my love for others should cause me to risk something.

God uses us to do His work, but the only way this can happen is if we are willing to the workers.

Today, Amanda needs love.

As I typed those last four words, my computer began shutting down unexpectedly which sent me running for the plug.

As I reached the kitchen table, I saw a new text.

Melissa had replied.

Love is now set in motion as we have a plan for something we can do to help Amanda at least not feel alone.

I returned to my computer, fearing all I had typed was lost.

Thankfully, the computer restarted and my words returned to the screen.

I think God sent me upstairs so that I could see Melissa's words before I ended this post.

I feel better knowing love has now moved from a feeling to an action.

And today, I'm praying that each of you can take this four letter word, L-O-V-E, and turn it into a verb.

Do something today in the name of love.

Encourage someone today out of love.

Help someone today because of love.

And please keep Amanda and her husband in your prayers today.

We'll probably never have a book written about us that tells about how we won a beauty pageant and became queen overnight.

We'll probably never be placed in the presence of a king while and have the opportunity to stand up for an entire group of people, saving their lives from certain death, like Esther was years ago.

But I do believe that every day we are each given very specific opportunities to make critical decisions that change history.........

one person at a time, one encounter at a time.

Maybe it's the way we talk to the person in Walmart who is ringing up our purchases.

Maybe it's our tone of voice in the drive-thru line when we speak to the drive-thru employee.

Maybe it's how we treat our co-workers.

Maybe it's how we handle our students in the midst of stress at work.

What if every moment of every day we could think of ourselves as mini-examples of Queen Esther?

What if we could hear Mordecai saying, "Who knows if perhaps you were made ____________for just such a time as this?"

Fill in the blank with whatever fits.

Mommy

Wife

Sister

Daughter

Husband

Father

Brother

Son

Friend

Co-worker

Teacher

Principal

Lawyer

Doctor

Nurse

Minister

Youth Minister

Neighbor

and on and on and on..........

How much more noble would each act of kindness seem if we could just remember that God has us exactly where He wants us.......

for such a time as this.

Do you ever wonder why you were placed on the planet during this era and not another one?

For whatever reason, you and I are here now

And because I believe in a God of order and purpose, I believe there is a very specific reason each of us is here today.

So, as you go out into the world or work at your home, look up and thank God for every opportunity He gives you to be Him to a extremely broken world.

You are here..........for such a time as this!

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

by

Wayne Watson

Now, all I have is now
To be faithful
To be holy
And to shine
Lighting up the darkness
Right now, I really have no choice
But to voice the truth to the nations
A generation looking for God
Chorus
For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this
You - Do you ever wonder why
Seems like the grass is always greener
Under everybody else's sky
But right here, right here for this time and place
You can live a mirror of His mercy
A forgiven image of grace
Repeat Chorus
Can't change what's happened till now
But we can change what will be
By living in holiness
That the world will see Jesus
source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/w/waynewatsonlyrics/forsuchatimeasthislyrics.html

For Such a Time as This

Sometimes you don't realize how special a part of life is until that part is gone.

Not that I don't enjoy my Olivia moments, but I am missing my days as the mom of busy little boys.

I'm missing the daily sounds of Zelda, Maria, or Madden football being played.

I'm missing the all-nighters with video games, movie-making, and pizza.

I'm missing a football being thrown in the yard or being scared when I walk into a room that one of my boys is going to be hiding behind the door.

Todd does pop in from college from time to time and he did scare me not too long ago, so I think I'm good in the "being scared" part of my sadness.

It's just that lately I've felt the cavernous hole that has been dug into our daily routine by the reality of our boys being pretty much "all grown up."

And I think the transformation to becoming a full-fledged "girl mom" has intensified the longing for a few male motherhood moments.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, sharing about my journey into shopping for a dress for Olivia's first high school homecoming dress,

and I told her I needed to thank my boys for all the things they allowed me to avoid for so many years as a mom.

I even told Tim that standing in Game Stop with the boys as they examined all the used video games was much more comfortable for me than being in a dress store with a bunch of somewhat emotional girls, watching them try on dress after dress to see which one looked "just right."

So, this morning I just wanted to take a couple minutes to say this to Erich, Evan, and Todd............

Thank you for letting me believe that homecoming was a football game all those years you were in high school!

Who knew there was a need to nearly prom shop twice a year?!?!?!

Thank you for being okay with wearing your choir tux and a different tie to prom, waiting until your date told you what color to buy and then letting me run get one while on a grocery shopping trip or some other outing.

Thank you for buying a blue polyester plaid suit at Goodwill one year, Erich, and finding a date who thought that was cool for a prom outfit.

And thank you, Todd, for thinking it was cool a few years later and wearing it again.

Thank you for the year when a tuxedo-patterned t-shirt, a top hat, and a cane was your choice for prom attire.

Thank you for not needing hair appointments and accessories that had to match from head to toe.

Thank you for the girls you hung out with you made prom fun and not stressful!

I wish I could find all your prom memory pictures to share....I'm looking for them!

Thank you for just being you..........honestly, I am blessed to have been a part of your life all these years.

I miss you more than words can ever begin to say.

But for this chapter of my life, God has given me a girl.........

which means I've got to switch gears for a few years.

And enjoy the moments of picking the right dress, the perfect shoes, and the right jewelry.

I'm thankful that Olivia is content with consignment shops and borrowed jewelry.

I'm thankful that Olivia understands modesty and likes to have fun while shopping.

I'm thankful that she's patient with a mom who is more comfortable looking for the latest release of a new football video game than the right shade of black shoes with the right kind of heel.

But, today, I'm mostly thankful for all my boy-mom memories.

They are tucked away in my heart forever, and because of each of you......Erich, Evan, Todd, and Nick........I am who I am today.

Always your mom.

Always here for you.

Always proud.

Always thankful.

We've all said or heard the phrase, "You've got to start somewhere."

It's one of those things we say when we realize we have a goal that seems unreachable yet desirable enough to begin journeying towards.

I love that God understands that feeling and still believes the goal is reachable.

And I love that the New Testament refers to Christians as the Temple of God but gives us the entire Old Testament journey of God's earthly temple as a symbol of our very beings.

I've read Zechariah before, but this morning as I was reading in Zechariah 4:10, the words,

 "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."

jumped off the page at me in a new and powerful way for some reason.

See, Zerubbabel had been given the task of rebuilding the temple.  And in this verse, he was standing with the plumb line in his hand.  I'm sure that this phase of the temple rebuilding seemed like a phase that was very, very far away from actually seeing the temple beautiful and complete.  I can almost hear one of his buddies saying, "You've got to start somewhere."

And who knows, maybe Zerubbabel was standing there thinking, "How in the world is what I'm doing really going to make a difference in the long run?" or "Will God ever pleased with my finished work..I have so far to go!"

Today, I'm just thinking that if you are anything like me you need to hear the words, "Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."

Maybe you are a new Christian and the journey ahead of you seems nearly impossible.

Maybe you have been a Christian for years and you've let God's temple inside of you crumble either physically or spiritually.

Maybe you haven't accepted Jesus as your Savior yet, so the work of building a temple inside of you has not even begun.

Whatever the case,

DO NO DESPISE SMALL BEGINNING!  THE LORD REJOICES TO SEE THE WORK BEGIN.

I love that other verses in the Bible support this same truth.

God started most projects with small people in small places.

I wish I had time this morning to list all the ones dancing through my head.

Moses, Abraham, Joseph, Ruth, Esther....

Oh, the list goes on and on.

And that's just the Old Testament.

Fishermen were turned into apostles in the New Testament.

Tax Collectors, Persecutors, and on and on.........It's as if God looks down at the earth and says, "I've got to start somewhere."

If you feel the tasks you have been assigned are small, be encouraged!

Luke 16:10 says,

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much."

And when you run into problems along the way, read II Cor. 4:1,

"Since God has so generously let us in on what He is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times."

Don't think God doesn't notice your work.

Hebrews 6:10 says, "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them."

And finally, read Job 8:7,

"Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be"! (Job 8:7 NIV)

I'm praying that today you will take one small step towards your goals and towards being the Christian God longs for you to be and realize that when you take that step,

"The Lord rejoices with you!"

In Daniel 8, Daniel has a vision in which he sees this happen in the heavens,

"The daily sacrifice was halted and truth was overthrown."

Sometimes in life, I think this happens for us.

We get in a cycle of "getting things done, achieving our goals, and checking things off our list," but in the midst of the everyday routine we forget about what is most important.

HIM

The One for whom all things were made.

I wonder if He ever looks down and wonders why we have made everything so complicated, so crazy, so hectic.

I think He longs for us to just stop and sacrifice some time for Him, sacrifice something on our list for Him, give up something on the altar FOR HIM.

I'm just wondering if all the things that are stressing us out would be a bit easier if we let some things go FOR HIM.

I want to lay everything on the altar for Him.

I want to say, "God, nothing matters without You in my life."

And I want to know that before all the things I've said "yes" to you this year I've said "yes" to Him.

A sense of confidence and excitement wells up inside me when I know that He's facing today with me.

And that He all that I am and ever hope to be is literally His.

He created me.

His Son died for me.

Why in the world should He not be worthy of my daily sacrifice?

The least I can do is do everything for Him...............because of Him, in His name.

I fail sometimes, and sadly, when I do.......

truth is overthrown.

It's like a battle is constantly being waged between the truth and a lie.......

and I hold the possibility of victory in my hand by the choices I make.

I've been reading in Daniel about the appearance of angels to help in earthly battles; and I believe they still appear today when we call upon them, sacrificing all that we are and all we long to be for His name's sake. 

Abraham was asked to give his only son, Isaac, as a sacrifice to God.

When he chose to obey, an angel appeared, providing just what he needed in place of his own son on the altar.

Sometimes in life, it seems that the demands are too high, the sacrifice too impossibly huge.......

but when we choose to do things for God, I believe He provides just what we need, too, in order to survive in that particular moment of greatest sacrifice.

What if daily all Christians chose to sacrifice something for God?

Time, money, energy..........

Can you imagine what could happen in the heavenly realm if we all said,

"God, here it is.  Everything I am.  Everything I long to be.  It's yours."

Can you see Truth being triumphant like I can?

Jesus says, "I am the truth, the way, and the life."

I believe God is waiting for His people to unite.

I believe there is power in prayers that are God-focused not man-focused.

Today, I'm praying that all of us can offer our day to God as a sacrifice.

This means that no matter what pops up that we weren't expecting, we can be "all in" for Him.

He's on His throne with arms wide open.

He wants to hold all we have.

Give Him your day and see what He can do with it.

Believe me, it's the only way I'm going to make it!

9/11 will forever be a date etched into our memories.

Most of us can all recall exactly where we were when the horrific scenes began playing on TV screens that morning.

Our country became a different kind of country that day.   More united.  And honestly, more aware of how quickly life can be turned upside down.

This year on 9/11, a movie is being released on DVD that I believe has the power to change people in a powerful way as well.

It's not about terrorism.

It's not about national security.

But it is about something that can our lives upside down.

And about something that threatens and sometimes takes innocent lives.

Abortion.

I had the opportunity to interview actor Jason Burkey on the phone about a month ago and talk to him about his role in this film.

Jason shared about how this film reminded him to think about the importance of every decision in life.

He challenged teens to remember that every choice they make greatly affects the next one in their life journey.

As a Christian who has a passion for acting, Jason uses his gift not only to fulfill his career dream but also to impact society in a positive way.

His energy and passion for the Lord came through the phone line like electricity on a metal wire.

I believe that if you met Jason on the street you would immediately know that he carries Jesus with him everywhere he goes.

I had the opportunity to preview this movie, "October Baby," and after watching it, I cannot say enough about its powerful message.

You walk away from the movie feeling stronger and full of hope.

This is a movie about forgiving others and forgiving yourself.

When you watch it, be sure to watch the interviews at the end of the movie.

They make you go back and watch scenes again from a whole new perspective.

October Baby.

Available in stores on 9.11.

I highly recommend it!

Next Tuesday is 9.11.

Think about making this year a year to remember by watching a movie that sends a powerful message of God's love and redemption.

My daily Bible reading is in Ezekiel right now, and SHEW! I've been reading about the measurements and the details of the temple for the past couple of days.

So much measuring.

So many layers.

So many rooms.

So many purposes.

So much protection for what is holy.

As a matter of fact, the priests were warned to "avoid carrying the sacrifices through the outer courtyard and endangering the people by transmitting holiness to them."

When I first read this sentence, I thought to myself "how could holiness endanger anyone?"

Can holiness really be dangerous?

So, I did a little online research and learned that God wanted to be sure that no one developed the false idea that simply being near the sacrifice would make them holy.

There's nothing like a false sense of holiness to keep us from striving to be holy.

As Old Testament laws and ceremonies related to sacrifices and the role of the priests and the temple transformed into New Testament teachings of Jesus being our High Priest and final sacrifice, we became the Temple of God.

No longer did someone have to enter the Holy of Holies for us.

No longer were daily sacrifices required to cover our sin and guilt.

No longer did God protect us from His Presence by high walls and thick curtains.

As the Old Testament was replaced by the New, the temple was replaced by our very beings.

And sometimes I think we forget just how dangerous this is.

There's such a difference between being near Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice, and allowing Him to live within us.

It's easy to think that going to church, talking about Jesus, and maybe doing good deeds in His name are enough to make us holy.............

But holiness is more than a nearness to the Sacrifice.

The priests got messy as they prepared the sacrifices.

In the privacy of the inner sanctuary, their hands were covered in the blood of these sin offerings.

They ate them after presenting them to God.

I use to struggle as I read about all of the details of the animal sacrifices.

I still cringe.

I still find God's ways confusing.

But, I'm realizing more and more every day just how much God wants me to see myself in these Old Testament teachings.

Getting messy with the blood of the Lamb.

Seeing and smelling all that went on inside the temple walls and realizing that it wasn't always pretty in there, but everything that happened was necessary in order to make atonement for all that was wrong.

Holiness doesn't come by a nearness to Jesus.

It comes by owning up to what happened on the cross and realizing that the blood He shed got on us too.

Close your eyes and imagine being right there at the cross.

See the pain.

Smell the air mixed with sweat and blood.

All that ugliness was for you and for me.

It's pretty humbling to realize that through the crucifixion Jesus ushered in a whole new relationship with God.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us,

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 

II Cor. 5:21

No more priests.

No more temples.

The curtain was torn from top to bottom, and God said, "I am with you now."

And the reality of this statement, "I am with you now," is dangerous.........

Because being a temple for God isn't something to take lightly, and I'm afraid I take it lightly every day.

I want to be set apart for His purposes.

I want to worthy of His presence in my life.

And many times I fail.

So today, I'm thankful for the reminder in Ezekiel about how the nearness of a sacrifice can endanger me.

I don't want the nearness of Jesus to give me a false sense of holiness.

I want to keep feeling the messiness that comes from remembering what He endured for me on the cross in order for me to gain true holiness.

And with this remembering I want to be changed daily into someone who reflects His holiness more and more.

God says, "Put your confidence in Christ."

The devil says, "Live insecurely."

God says, "Love one another."

The devil says, "Choose who you want to love and don't worry about the rest."

God says, "Seek My Kingdom first, and you will have peace here on earth followed by eternity with Me."

The devil says, "Seek every possession and every pleasure you can on earth, because you only live once (YOLO)."

God says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

The devil says, "Do what makes you happy and let everyone else worry about themselves."

God says, "My joy will make you complete."

The devil says, "You can't be happy unless you have everything you want..NOW."

God says, "My grace is sufficient for you."

The devil says, "I will accuse you until you believe you are worthless."

God says, "I want you to overflow with hope even in your grief, because I offer eternal life."

The devil says, "Lose all hope.  Everything ends in death."

Today, if you find yourself........

fighting insecurity,

struggling to love unconditionally,

finding it difficult to feel inner peace,

living for yourself and realizing that in your selfishness you are hurting others,

lacking joy because you think there's "one more thing" that will make you happy,

feeling unworthy of God's love,

or

longing for hope but unable to experience it,

the devil is whispering lies into your heart and mind. 

I battle daily with many of these feelings and when I do,

I have to claim II Corinthians 10:4-5 and pray it over and over again back to God.

It says,

The weapons we fight with are not

the weapons of the world.

On the contrary, they have divine

power to demolish strongholds.  

We demolish arguments and every

pretension that sets itself up

against the knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought

to make it obedient to Christ.

God, I come to you today for me and for all of my friends who struggle like I do. Help us to remember that we do not fight with the kind of weapons the world uses.Help us to remember that you have given us divine power to destroy all the things that are holding us back from being all you want us to be.  Divine power is not measurable.  The same power that You used to speak our world into existence is ours if we will trust in You.  God, help us see clearly every thought and action that is against the knowledge of You.  And when we have thoughts that contradict Your Word, bring Your promises quickly to our mind, Lord.  We need You every minute of every day.  Help us learn to turn to You first and know that You will supply our every need according to Your will.  In Your Son's Precious Name, Amen