When Tears Mix With Morning Coffee.............

It was a normal Monday morning, or so I thought.

I pushed "snooze" on the alarm clock several times and entered that half-awake state where my mind started wandering, feeling a sort of heaviness about the pace this week holds at work and after school.

Thankfully, Tim prayed for our week before I got out of bed.

Prayed for each of our kids by name.

Prayed for friends who are feeling overwhelmed with life.

I took the puppies out and started the coffee.

Everything felt routinely normal, looking back the normalness of the routine almost seems robotic as I knew the next thing would be getting a cup of coffee and sitting to read my Bible.

And then I heard Tim's voice from the bedroom,

"Scott (he is our minister and Tim's friend) sent a text at 3 a.m."

Immediately I hurried to the door of our room.

I knew something had happened.

I didn't know what to expect.

Then he told me of a couple at our church losing their baby in the middle of the night.

She was due in just two months.

My heart broke immediately as I have just begun to share in the joy of this coming baby.

This sweet first-time mom is my youth group partner at church on Wednesday nights with the 8th grade girls.

We talk about her baby every week.

The girls and I were planning a shower.

And now, Amanda is in a hospital bed, heartbroken and, I know, confused.

And I'm here fixing a cup of coffee and preparing to go to work when honestly I just want to be doing something for Amanda.

And yet I know nothing I do or say is going to take away the heartache.

Nothing.

So, I returned to the kitchen and got my predictable cup of coffee but as I pushed the button, causing coffee to fill my cup, tears filled my eyes and I wept.

I wept for every mom who is called to this road of heartache.

I wept for every husband who has to watch his wife suffer in physical and emotional pain...unable to carry any of it for her.

I wept for the unfairness of life and how I hate to see anyone experience loss but how it just seems extra-cruel when it's someone who loves God as much as Amanda does.

I just wept.

I sent a text to a friend whose daughter is in our small group at church, a mother who also lost a baby several years ago and who knows heartache like I do, asking her to pray and asking her what we should do.

And then I took my "every-day cup of coffee" and found my Bible, and I read for a while about Nehemiah's desire to rebuild the wall.

I read about God's promise to "brighten the eyes and grant relief" to His people.

Then I began reading Bob Goff's book, "Love Does."

I knew that just as Nehemiah's love for his people caused him to risk asking the king if he could return home, my love for others should cause me to risk something.

God uses us to do His work, but the only way this can happen is if we are willing to the workers.

Today, Amanda needs love.

As I typed those last four words, my computer began shutting down unexpectedly which sent me running for the plug.

As I reached the kitchen table, I saw a new text.

Melissa had replied.

Love is now set in motion as we have a plan for something we can do to help Amanda at least not feel alone.

I returned to my computer, fearing all I had typed was lost.

Thankfully, the computer restarted and my words returned to the screen.

I think God sent me upstairs so that I could see Melissa's words before I ended this post.

I feel better knowing love has now moved from a feeling to an action.

And today, I'm praying that each of you can take this four letter word, L-O-V-E, and turn it into a verb.

Do something today in the name of love.

Encourage someone today out of love.

Help someone today because of love.

And please keep Amanda and her husband in your prayers today.



4 Comments:

Blogger natalie said...

Dear Friend,

I love you and am praying for you right now!

I am also emailing you Tammy.

God Bless,
natalie

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too know that heartache. My son and his wife lost a baby girl eight years ago. I will keep Amanda is my prayers. Sandy

Blogger Patti said...

praying for Amanda and family and friends...
and Tammy? Bless your heart...always looking for ways to show compassion <3

Blogger Tammy Imel said...

I am just reading this and sitting here with my eyes filled with tears. On June 18, 1990, my first baby was born 14 weeks premature, she only lived 4 hours, and passed away on June 19. Those dates are still very raw days for me, I spend those days being the only one that knows what those days are, no one else remembers, but they were some of the hardest days of my life and they are still very much in my mind. I will pray for Amanda and her husband and those around her to love her through this sad time.

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