You've probably noticed that my postings have been a little less frequent the past few weeks.
A friend of mine who lives out of town called to me to read some excerpts from the book "Facing Your Giants" yesterday, and it made me start thinking.
I am sure that as David prepared to face Goliath and during the actual battle, he wasn't turning around to the crowd of supporters to let them know how he was doing. He was just DOING what he had to do to win the fight. That's where I'm at right now.
Nick's battle with cancer has become a Goliath in our life. He is not doing well at all. We have decided not to try another type of chemo. After six years of living with cancer, Nick is tired of needles, hospitals, everything that has to do with the medical world. At this time we are simply going to be taking Nick for 10 to 15 rounds of radiation to his hips to help with pain and then focusing on supplements and nutrition. Down the road, if God gives us the opportunity, we may look into another surgery. However, at this time Nick is too weak to even think about that.
He sleeps a lot and he has lost his appetite for most everything.
So, as I think about the Goliath that we are facing, I have to rethink what I have thought for 6 years. See, I have seen cancer as our Goliath and the belief that if Nick could beat the cancer then we would win the battle. But, after some soul-searching and talks with friends, I have come to this sobering truth.
Our battle and Nick's battle is against satan not cancer. Satan doesn't really care if we live or die. He just cares about where our heart is when we move to eternity. So, while I fight to keep Nick alive, I am fighting more to keep his heart focused on the most important reality: GOD!
That's really a Goliath we all face in this world. Whether we are facing depression, divorce, loneliness, grief, anger, jealousy, or any other tough situation, the devil is right there hoping to trip us up in our walk.
So as I ask for all of your prayers as my family faces the Goliath of cancer, I am asking even more for your prayers that our family win this battle with the devil. Protect Nick's heart as well as all of our other kid's along with Tim and me and my precious mom who is walking this road with Nick right along with us. Help us to stay focused on God's love and blessings even on the darkest days.
Love from one warrior to another,
20 Comments:
Tammy, You are so right, you are not fight against the cancer, it's the devil. He is so powerful, he has a lot of control in this world. I still wonder why God lets things happen, because he is more powerful, but God promises eternal life. He said we would still suffer on this earth. We are still praying for Nick daily and your daily. You are a wonderful person Tammy and you will be rewarded your faithfulness. We love you.
Tammy, Your journey has been so long- your faith so strong. Your family is an amazing testament to God and His love and His power. More people are praying for you than you could ever know. Peace, wisdom, love, comfort, joy to each and everyone of you. Thank you for sharing- even when it hasn't been easy. We love you.
Tammy...we are still praying for you...and Nick...and the entire family. You'll continue to be included in our DAY of PRAYER, which is posted EVERY Tuesday on our blog.
~Blessings sweet ones...
Jan
Tammy and Tim, I've been reading your recent blog entries to catch up on your situation. I can't imagine your pain nor have words to soothe the anxiety except to simply trust God.
One of the things I've learned about "God's Will" is I'm glad I don't know it in advance. God reveals His Will like a movie that keeps us on the edge of our seats. Sometimes its hard to watch. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes, in a slow stretch, we hit the exit for the popcorn.
So hang in there and simply KNOW that God cares. He's there with Nick. He's there with you and Tim. He already knows what all this means, even if we can't comprehend it.
We love you.
Rick, Patti, Becca and Ryan
P.S. If it would help Nick, maybe Ryan could call him. Or Nick call Ryan.
Tammy, you just bless my socks off every time I read your blog. I feel I have no real empowering words for you. Your faith and perspective is just so precious. I know our Father will say to you one day "well done, my faithful child." I know you are suffering and you heart is tired and broken from this trial yet you still have such a beautiful outlook.
Thank you for this reminder that depression, divorce, illness, are not are enenmies but satan who is trying to remove our effectiveness.
You know Beth Moore said in her recent simulcast that satan is not trying to take our salvation. He can't but he's trying to take our effectiveness.
He wants to defeat you and your family. To steal the joy you have for TODAY, for today is all that any of us have. I may not live to see tomorrow. You may not live to see this evening. I don't mean to sound grewsome but if satan can steal our joy and love for the Lord and wipe our effective for this day, he's accomplished his goal.
Much, much love and prayers to you.
You are so precious and so is your entire family. I so enjoy getting to know you. You are one that I'd love to have as a close face to face friend.
Love you, girl.
Paula
Tammy, I came to your blog in a round 'about way through the Proverbs 31 Ministry blog several weeks ago. Though I don't know you, God has laid it on my heart to pray for you and Nick so I've been doing so for several weeks now. I am so sorry to hear that Nick is not doing well. I thank you for your post today. You will never know what an encouragement you are to me. I will continue to lift you, Nick and your family up to our gracious Father.
Stephanie
TAMMY, YOU ARE AN AWESOME WOMAN OF GOD AND I SO APPRECIATE YOUR TRANSPARENCY. NOTHING FAKE OR PHONY ABOUT YOU. I AM SO SORRY THE ROUGH HAND LIFE HAS DEALT YOU BUT IT HAS NOT CONQUERED YOU. YOUR CHRISTIAN LOVE AND TESTIMONY COMES BRILLIANTLY SHINING THROUGH. KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CONTINUES TO BE IN MY PRAYERS. MAY GOD'S LOVE AND SUPPORT TOTALLY ENVELOPE YOU AND ALL THOSE YOU LOVE.
You're gonna make it.
Tammy, thanks for sharing your heart. I will be praying against the devil's schemes to distract you all. It's easy to start questiong God during times like these. Especially when you're a 13 year old boy. How does a child continue to hold to his beliefs and his faith? The heart of God is good. I know that, but I'm 43 and have lots to draw on. Your family will be in my prayers even more at this time.
Love you Tammy,
Sheryl
Tammy,
Know that God is in controll when we think we cant go on, he is their to pick us up.
You give such encouragement to others through this trial and journey you are on.
Praying for Nick,
Love ya Brenda
Tammy,
What a beautiful post - Nick is so blessed to have you...as you focus on our Heavenly Father and help him do the same. We are ALWAYS in His care..never alone nor forsaken - even on the "lousiest" of days! I pray you will feel the presence of the great comforter in a very real way.
What an amazing testimony all of you have - God is being glorified and that is our highest goal! You are a blessing.
Please give Nick a hug for me...and have you tried McDonald's milk shakes?? They were pure liquid pleasure for Tyler!! Love ya, Jennifer
Tammy,
I have not "checked in" with you in a few weeks because of computer problems although I have continued to pray for your family. I am saddened to read that Nick is not doing well.
Your post is so right on the money....all that matters is where our heart is...keeping it on the Lord makes Satan so mad and our God so pleased!! I will keep praying for a miracle and most importantly that you whole family keeps their eyes on him!!
God bless!
Kim from PA
Tammy,
The enemy is already defeated because of Jesus blood but also because you continue to praise the Lord and choose to trust in HIS love and care.
The road is tough but His grace carries you. Each and every time I read your words I see that more and more. Continue to hold up your Shield of Faith and keep the full body armor on to protect you from the flaming arrows the enemy tries to send your way.
All your mighty warriors are continuing to march out in front of you and we will remain with you no matter what.
You are dearly and deeply loved!
Love,
Bonnelle
You are an awesome Mom, Tammy!! Wow, the things you have on your plate but continue right along blessing those of us who read. I still hear in my Spirit Tammy, Barrow. Dr. Rekate will look everything over and give advice.
Please know that we are praying. My eleven year old constantly prays for and tells others to pray for her Nick. We're reading daily and praying!
He will hide you under His feathers, under His wings you will find refuge, his faithfullness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4
This is a verse I memorized today for myself but thought you might be comforted by it as well.
I am praying for your family.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Cindy Agnew
I am praying that Jesus will be your family's hedge of protection--protecting your joy, peace, faithfulness and hope. I am praying that Nick may see the hope that comes from walking with Jesus. God bless you.
oh tammy, you have a way with words and God is using you in ways you will never know. I will continue to pray!!!
Michelle
Tammy, I want you to know that I love the way you and your family love Jesus. It is an awesome TESTimony that in the midst of the storm, you hold to the Lord the way you do. When Elisha was sick I kept a sign at his bedside that said "It is not knowing that God can, It is believing that God will." I am praying and thanking God today that he will heal Nick completely and use his life as a beginning for an awesome ministry in the future.
Love and Prayers, Tiffany Miles
Praying for your darling Nick! I am asking for a mighty healing. You are an awesome mother and Nick is blessed beyond measure for having a family dedicated to God's will. Nick sounds like an amazing young man. May God bless him with the desires of his heart.
JoAnn in Michigan
Tammy, I praise God that He showed you the true enemy. Thank you so much for sharing what God is teaching you. It is a deep and profound insight; one of those that only comes in the darkest places of life. Yet God's light is never brighter than in those places - if we only look for it.
Nick's life will have impact beyond what you know!!!
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