WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?!?!?!?



A couple of months ago, Tim asked me if I would be willing to help him lead a four-to-six week marriage class at church on Wednesday evenings starting this Wednesday night?

Why did I say "yes?"

Anytime you step up to do something in hopes of bringing people closer to God, you can count on the devil to step up and cast all kinds of doubt on your ability to do much of anything.

Tonight I feel unqualified and quite incapable of sharing anything about marriage that would be inspirational.

If you've read my blog very often, you know that my marriage is an area that I normally leave "untouched," but for tonight I felt it was VERY IMPORTANT to ask for prayers for our family and specifically, our marriage, over the next month and a half.

So far today, I've had my feelings hurt at Pizza Hut (probably too easily, but once they're hurt does it really matter?), been irritated at Pizza Hut (which followed almost immediately my hurt feelings, and I'm sure was amplified due to my frail emotions), agreed to do the nursery tonight at church partly because it meant being away from "said husband," and then probably over-reacted to "said husband's" need to relay a lady's comments when she was returning Beth Moore DVDs to the church office today.

For the record....

I can be defensive.

It is very hard for me to say "I'm sorry."

I do tend to be a control freak.

I'm not perfect,

And sharing all of this on my blog may be so transparent that some of you are now disappointed in me as a person.

However, I do think that confession is good for the soul; and tonight I feel convicted.

My husband is a patient, loving, selfless human being;and today I have been quite the opposite.

Forgive me, Lord, for being stubborn and easily angered.

Forgive me, Tim, for causing you to feel like your every word is scrutinized.

Thankful that tomorrow is a new day with a new chance to be the person God has called me to be.

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Longing to be THIS KIND OF WIFE but realizing that (even in grief) marriage can have some very "every-day difficult" moments and taking a risk that some of you can relate.

P.S. If you have a perfect marriage, feel free to type your comment into a comment box but then please delete it before clicking "Publish This Comment." (Smiles) You know I'm kidding.

I love you all! And if you have a perfect marriage, I think you have every right to share your secrets with all of us!!

Just don't make it sound too easy....(Smiles, again)

Seriously, though, I'm open to any comments even if they are just "HI," or "I can relate." :) Have a great week, and I'll write again soon. :)


Blogger Cheri said...

Marriage is hard. Men don't think and woman react too easily. It's just the way we are. And you know what...it's okay. We have all been there and done that. If anyone can say they've always been a loving selfless marriage partner, well they would be lying. And since one of the Commandments is Thou shalt not lie I doubt you'll hear any of that junk in these comments! :0) Anyway, all that to say" You got this girl." You've got what it takes to do this class but you might have to dig deep, and the beauty of digging deep is that it changes us. xoxo, Cheri

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now I'm really worried. Your description of your husband certainly does not match what I know about him....But i do know that he believes he is the most blessed man on the planet!
- "said husband"

Blogger Becky Copeland said...

Tammy, if we are honest with ourselves, we have all been there and some even stay there~! One of the things that matter is your reaction to it. I commend you on being honest with yourself about your feelings. I have a hard time letting things go and saying I was wrong with my husband. Every situation is a learning experience for both sides. With teaching this class, nobody should expect you to have the perfect marriage. I would rather learn about marriage from a couple who have their daily ups and downs. How else can I be sure they know what they are talking about and that they have "been there". This marriage class can be a blessing for you both in that it will strengthen your own marriage and make you examine yourself and your relationship. I know the class Daven and I took on marriage relationships was amazing and did wonders for us both as a couple and as an individual person and brought us closer with God. I know you both will do great with it and inspire many. I'll be praying for you both and the class. Love you!

Blogger Rose said...

I will be praying for you! It happens to us all-- we are human. I know that being in the perimenopause years for me makes things much worse because emotions can be all over the place, like your rollercoaster post the other day! I know that men just do not understand how much that what is going on internally/hormonally is affecting our mood. I never really realized it until a few years ago when it started happening. I would get irritable, emotional, defensive over small things, you name it! Now I recognize that and I just tell everyone that I'm feeling irritable and they try to stay out of my way! I am normally a very happy and forgiving person but I tell you that hormones can wreak havok!

Tammy no one would ever think less of you for admitting you are human! We love you just the way you are.

Blogger Charlotte said...

If your marriage is perfect then I would think you were lying. I can definately relate!!! Sometimes I just get upset because he is upset. Doesn't make much sense but thats how it is. My husband will never admit he is wrong about anything...instead he says... "YES DEAR"!!! Cracks me up. I am so far from perfect either....I can admit I'm wrong, but it takes me awhile. Sometimes....a long while.
You keep doing what your doing....and remember....Tim will always love you...just like all of us do!!!! xoxoxo

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