Jeremiah 32:17 "Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."
I woke up yesterday feeling so very blue. I hadn't really cried since Monday night.
I guess the pool of tears had just built up to overflowing.
Everytime I opened my mouth to talk, I would choke up and cry.
Thankfully, the Lord knew I was going to be having one of those days and sent friend after friend and text after text to keep me busy and remind me that I was not alone!
Last night Olivia had 8 little friends over (all of the girls who had stood beside her throughout Nick's visitation and service as well as some more) to make gingerbread houses. I have to admit that deep inside I was thinking, "I am NOT up for this!"
But as it would turn out (of course), it was medicine to my soul. We turned on Christmas music and the girls sang and giggled the evening away. I asked them to name their houses at the end, because I wanted to photograph each of them with their new creations. These little girls are such sweeties.........little did I know they had devised such a special surprise for me!
I saw them whispering and then passing around some paper plates.
The next thing I knew they had lined my kitchen counters with gingerbread houses, creating a village they named, "Thumbs Up!" Then they wrote, "We "heart" Nick" and signed another paper plate and hung it over my stove! And still another that said, "In Memory of NYN!"
I was overjoyed. It was a perfect night! Oh, I love these girls so much! And I know they truly love Nick. He loved all of them so much and got the biggest kick out of each them when they would come over to stay all night!
Evan got home from college last night for Christmas break and Erich got home today, so I have been knee-deep in laundry! The washer and dryer haven't stopped all day!
Olivia and I made a run to WalMart today......
Our first trip since losing Nick.
Shew! I didn't realize how shopping had become so centered around his needs.
Everywhere I turned I thought of him and what he would like and want and wouldn't like and wouldn't want.
Thankfully, we made it through the shopping experience without tears. (Olivia holds me to a pretty high standard in public places!)
Tonight we are headed to a friend's house to help make baskets for shut-ins from church. When we get home, the older boys are going to watch Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation with us. It is one of Tim's favorites, and I am praying we can have a good family time.
Nothing is easy. And yet God never fails to be right here...........to lean on for comfort and hope.
Oh, thank you, Lord.
Thank you for sharing in our grief and helping us smile...............
Even through gingerbread houses!
Nothing is too hard for you.
12 Comments:
Tammy,
I was at KCC when Nick was first diagnosed. I have cried over you all many evenings reading your blog. I just wanted to let you know that God is inspiring others through your lives. Thank you for being so transparent through your writing. I have a long commute everyday to work, and I want you to know that I will continue to talk with God about your wonderful family. I am very proud to know you guys. <3
Oh Tammy,
How special. Thank God He is there for you each moment of the way.
Praying without ceasing, and giving thanks for you daily♥
That sounds so sweet and good for Olivia right now to.
God Bless You,
Brenda
Tammy, I come to your blog 4-5 times a day...just to be able to read your heart...His words! Each time I read, I leave with a sense of gratitude. I am so thankful for you! My best friend lost her husband very unexpectedly on October 11th. They found out about the cancer and 3 1/2 weeks later he died. This has been extremely difficult as you well know. So thank you Tammy for encouraging me to be able to encourage her. You are such a blessing!! Thank you for gingerbread houses:) Love you!
Tammy, many times a day I think of you and your family and breathe a prayer for you. In my mind I can "see" 2 visions of you: in the mother sense I see you bent, bowed, and broken with grief and despair but in your spiritual sense I see you tall, victorious and more than conqueror. Know you are loved and you continue to be a light and inspiration to all who know you. You are such an amazing woman of God and I know you will become even more so because of all of this you have gone through. Sending you love, hugs and prayers.
Leave it to a bunch of giggling girls to turn tears to laughter! God love em!
Praying for you friend!
Tammy,
Loved the title of this post. I am amazed at how many times I will be able to smile in the midst of a really good cry. That can only be God. I am so glad that Olivia was able to enjoy her fun night with friends. And that it turned out being such a blessing to you also.
Praying on, love ya-
Sheryl
This is such a special bunch of kids! I just know that God is going to use them and their love for Nick, each other, and Him in such powerful ways!
The Bible says, "laughter is good medicine"... He's the healer of our brokenness and knows exactly what we need when we need it the most. Continuing to pray for His sufficiency to be revealed to you in real and tangible ways.
Love you!!
Bonnelle
It's okay to cry in a store.
I am glad for the gingerbread party. God will be always there when the pain hits.
You and your family are precious.
Tammy,
It is late, and you crossed my mind and came to your blog to check on you.
Just want you to know that I love you and will lift your name in prayer now and everyday.
Francie
Tammy,
The laughter of children is so healing as are your tears. I imagine Nick was laughing at the "Nick Village" made in his honor!!
prayers and hugs,
Kim
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