Aching Today....
Trying to stay busy
Simple tasks become a chore

Longing for his laughter
Want to hear it just once more

Tears come without a warning
My heart aches beyond compare

Clinging to the promise
That Nick is safely in His care

Is he playing?
Is he singing?
Is he worshiping His King?

Questions without answers
Trying not to feel the sting

Thankful for the honor
That God gave me for awhile

To be the mom of a great boy
Who always wore a smile

Pray for me-I beg you
Keep me lifted to the Lord

As I struggle to recover
Nestled deeply in the Word


Anonymous Mark said...

Without the promise, life isn't worth living. Know that our whole family is constantly praying for you.

When I think of this season, I try to grasp the feeling the shepherds must have had to hear the heavenly host announce Jesus' birth. Nick now gets that feeling FOREVER. In fact, I pray you listen closely for it, Tammy, as I believe with all my heart Nick has begun singing right along.

Blogger Luanne said...

Praying for you, Tammy.

Anonymous Jennifer M. said...

Dear, dear friend, My heart aches over your grief and my tears come because you are hurting. You are the perfect mom for Nick and you will be for all eternity. His light will shine on in this world because of you and he will shine in Heaven because he is a child of God. How blessed are we who knew and loved Nick because our lives will never be the same for having known this precious boy. He still wears the smile, only brighter by multitudes, as he plays, sings, and worships with Jesus. Oh how much we all have to look forward to for all eternity when we have fulfilled our days on earth. Keep the faith, my friend. I love you, Jennifer

Anonymous Kimberly Clark said...

Wishing you more hugs than my arms could ever give, Kim

Blogger AntonucciFamily said...

We are all praying for you and your family during this painful time. Thank you for sharing your life with us and with others. Your story has made a difference in our lives. May God continue to bless you richly as you bless others in his name.

Blogger Bonnelle Pagel said...

praying without ceasing for you

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tammy, many many times a day you come to my mind and I whisper a prayer for you. Yes, it all your questions in that beautiful poem. Nick is doing just fine and being taken care of by his Heavenly Father. In time, you also will be ok but know you are being carried by your Father until you can walk again just like the poem Footprints says. I love you dear and pray blessings, comfort, and peace upon you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying today for your aching heart.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tammy- hold on to THE PROMISE- you will be with him one day. God is doing great things through all of you- even in your grief. Keep holding on to the love and prayers that are surrounding you. Listen for the still, small whisper of God.

Blogger Chad Doerr said...

We are praying for you Tammy!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am praying for you this morning Tammy and for the whole family. I remember that the days after the funeral are some of the hardest. I am sorry that it is so hard. I am grateful that you showed Nick how to follow Jesus. You are loved.

Blogger Christina said...

Beautiful poem. I am praying for you and your family and thinking of Nick. Do you remember the song Wish you were here? "to run with the angels on streets made of gold, to listen to stories of saints new and old, to worship our Maker that's where I'll be" Remember, this is where Nick is.

Blogger Cheri' said...

Praying for the comfort of the Holy Spirit to comfort your aching heart today!

Blogger Fiffer said...

Oh Tammy, I just checked your blog for the first time in two weeks and my heart aches with yours. What an incredible son Nick was, and what an incredible Mommy he had. The bond you two shared will never be broken and I know someday soon you will be reunited in one incredibly joyous reunion. The more loved ones in Heaven, the dearer it becomes to us. Our time here on earth passes in the blink of an eye, and it will be mere moments till we are reunited with our loved ones and living in the sweet presence of our Heavenly Father.

My prayers will continue -- I know the Christmas season that is supposed to be so joyful will be a hard one -- but live strong for Nick, and for Jesus! Your sweet spirit and beautiful testimony will glow like a CANDLE for all to see.

Love & many prayers,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many times a day you cross my mind, and I whisper a prayer. May you feel all those praying for you today and the days to come. Your prayer warriors are still here and on the job! We love you!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is beautiful Tammy...praying for you!!

Blogger Living Beyond said...

Tears flowing

I have hardly commented on your blog but I have been reading it regularly and following the hard hard journey that the Lord has you on - but just needed to tell you that I will and am praying for you.

The ultimate healing is when we are home free - Nick is already there and one day we will all be home - the place that are souls long for.

Many prayers

Blogger rural momma said...

We are lifting your family to the throne of grace daily. We only 'know' you and your family via your blog, but please know we are sisters and brothers in the Lord and when you grieve we grieve.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tammy, Give yourself the freedom and the time to grieve. The Lord has you firmly in his arms. He will carry you through this. As sure as there is a GOD, Nick is there with him sporting that big ol' wonderful "Nick" smile. There can be nothing harder than dealing with the death of a child. My prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous Linda P said...

I hurt for your hurting heart; at the same time I rejoice at the hope you celebrate each day until your family is fully united for eternity. Tammy, I am Jennifer's cousin, and family and my students have prayed for Nick since his first tumor experience. We won't stop. God bless you all - from Louisville

Anonymous Linda P said...

Tammy, I hurt for your hurting heart, but I rejoice for the hope you can cling to - hope for a wonderfully complete family reunion. A reunion in the most beautiful place, and one that will never end. I am Jennifer's cousin, and my family and my students have prayed for Nick for years - since he first became sick as a little boy. We won't stop covering you in our prayers now.

God bless you all,
Linda Proffitt

Blogger Susan said...

Father I come to you today on behalf of my sweet Tammy and her entire family.

I pray you will envelope her with your great love, and comfort her only as one who knows the pain she is enduring.

Lord, you said you are so close to the brokenhearted, and you would rescue those who were crushed in spirit.

Let Tammy feel how very, very close you are now. Thank you for the promise we will be reunited again, and that Nick's journey has only just begun.

I love you Tammy‚ô•

Anonymous Marna said...


Although you don't know me, I want you to know you're being lifted up to the Lord in prayer - and I know He will meet you there.

In His Love,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Tammy ~ Thank you for the beautiful sonnet/Prayer.
Yor are an incredible woman. I can only hope to be half the woman you are. Your faith is so strong and I think that say's allot about your character.
Please know we lift you and your family up in prayer daily.
Love and Peace ~ Deborah Peterson

Blogger Charlotte said...

One day I will see YOU again my dear friend and I will give you the biggest hug I can. Because YOU are YOU. Beautiful poem. xoxo

Blogger Jennifer said...

Praying and believing that HE will continue to comfort and surround you and ALL of your family with peace and joy, JOY for NICK.

Anonymous Anonymous said...


when I lost my mother to cancer I thought I would never get over it. I missed her so badly and everything reminded me of her. At that time the movie Pearl Harbor had come out and this song was what I had played when we had her service. It touched my heart and ive carried it with me all this time and today when I hear the song I can see her face and I can remember how her hugs felt and how her voice sounded how she smelled.... those little memories that seem to fade away with time I hope it can comfort you too and I pray for you and Your family every day.

There You'll Be - Faith Hill

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You are there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

Christine Adams

Blogger Tiffany Stuart said...

This is hard to read. I am sorry for your loss. Words aren't enough. May God be there for you in your ache.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tammy, i will be praying i read your comments sounds just like me and my family i lost my daugher my firstborn daughter at 26 yrs old my heart goes to you i know the pain you going thru,the lord will see you thru, time is the greatest healer take care love and prayers

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