I Write....for She Speaks (Scholarship)

When I started blogging in 2007, I don't think I truly thought I would still be clicking away at my keyboard in 2011.

In the beginning, I needed an outlet for my hurting heart.  Losing my daughter, Adrienne, in 1992 had taken me on a painful journey through grief, and now I was walking a new kind of painful road as my son Nick was in the middle of a tough fight with cancer. 

adriennes tombstone  

Writing out my fears, my doubts, and my prayers strengthened me and reminded me that I was not alone.

As time passed and Nick's cancer spread, my blog became a place for desperate prayer requests, a place for deep soul-searching, and a place where I could somehow feel surrounded not only by a cloud of witnesses but also by a worldwide group of prayer warriors.

I remember when we received the dreaded words from the doctor that there was "nothing more they could do" for our precious son,  Lysa TerKeurst asked her blog readers to stop by my blog and encourage me.  I'll never forget how loved I felt when over 100 comments appeared after one of my blog posts.  God used bloggers to strengthen me for the months ahead.

In November of 2008, when God chose to take Nick home, my blog suddenly became an outlet for my grief.  I never dreamed when I began blogging that God would use this site as a place of healing for my aching soul.  I also never dreamed that I would meet so many other hurting moms along the way, forming friendships that have grown and blossomed over the past two and a half years.nicks tombstonenicks tombstone back

As I type this post, the nightly news is on at our house.  A father is being interviewed about his daughter's murder which happened 8 years ago.  Tears fill his eyes and occasionally he stops to cry as he talks about the death of his young girl.  I am painfully reminded that grief touches all of us eventually, and because of this, I keep writing.

I know that even in grief there is hope.......

Verses like I Thessalonians 4:13-14 promise me that our good-byes are not forever.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Believing that Adrienne and Nick are in the presence of God keeps me going.  Believing that when this life ends I will be reunited with them, keeps me smiling!

I read Psalm 126:5-6 and my heart is filled with such joy!

Those who sow with tears
   will reap with songs of joy. 
Those who go out weeping,
   carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
   carrying sheaves with them.

Until the Lord calls me Home, I am committed to sowing a harvest for the Lord through my tears.  I remember asking my husband one time, "Why does our life have to be so full of sadness?"  He reminded me that Jeremiah was referred to as "The Weeping Prophet."  God used Jeremiah's tears, and I know that He longs to use mine and yours.

One day, our hurting hearts will overflow with songs of joy!  That day may not come until the day we see our Lord and Savior, but until then, I will share My Heart and His Words so that others can learn more about the hope, peace, and joy that come from knowing Jesus as their personal Savior.


Visit Ann Voscamp's blog to read about the She Speaks Scholarship opportunity in case you want to enter!

Visit Proverbs 31 Ministries to find out how to register for this summer's She Speaks event!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

(((( Tammy ))))
you never cease to amaze me with your weavings of words, dear lady. I guess it's because our Papa is involved but it's thru your tears and heartaches and growth and wisdom that your words flow so sweetly. "Thank you for sharing" and " I love you's" is not nearly enough to tell you how much you're loved....and prayed for...thank you, I love your heart. I may have never met you in person but we've connected thru our Papa and HIS love for us.
I can't wait for the time when we do meet...and Jesus feet....and
He will wipe away all the tears from our eyes...
Tears are the language of our souls and when they are turned toward God, they are never wasted
nor shed in vain. Our tears are precious to Him...psalm 56:8 tells us He keeps our tears in a bottle and writes each one in His book.. imagine that!
in HIM,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tammy it is through blog searching that I found you and your wonderful words. I know in my heart there is a reason for all the pain we suffer here on earth, and some more than others, but we shall not know until we meet our Lord. Your words are always thought provoking for me and I thank you. Your choice of headstones for Nick is amazing. It certainly captured his life here on earth. May you continue to heal and find strength and joy on this earth. Sandy

Blogger Sheryl said...

i just want to say that i love you!

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