God longs to hear us say the words "thank you," but sometimes this comes in the midst of great sacrifice.

Chapter Eight in Nancy's book Choosing Gratitude is called,

"But Not Without Sacrifice."

Yesterday I took Olivia and several little friends to see a movie after school and before church...I knew it was going to be one with many tears, so I planned several errands to run in Ashland while the girls watched the movie.

As I was in the mall dropping off a broken bracelet to be repaired, I had to meander through the bookstore.  This is my favorite store in the mall.  I'd take book-browsing over clothes shopping most any day!

Anyway, I came upon a book entitled Reading Jesus, and as I read the summary and the beginning chapter I was pulled in and knew I wanted to read more.  So I made my purchase and was on my way.

Unsuspectingly I walked past the little electronics store that I use to always take Todd and Nick in to buy new video games or just look around for fun things to go with their game systems....this was Nick's favorite little place in the mall.

I felt my breath go out of me as I walked past the entrance to this store, realizing that never again would I go up and down the aisles of this store with Nick looking for the latest little gadget to be on clearance.  I could feel tears welling up inside of me and it was almost as if I heard (not audibly but in my spirit) God say,

"Tammy, even though you will no longer be buying Nick presents, keep seeking my Presence in your life and you will be okay."

I looked down at my bag holding the book Reading Jesus and I felt a wave of peace come over me as I knew that I was doing just that.

And I whispered, Thank you, Lord.

I guess for me the sacrifice of losing Nick even though it wasn't one I chose willingly is still one for which ultimately God will bring joy (it may not be until I hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant) and because of this deep trusting knowledge and belief and hope that I can say,

"Thank you, Lord," as I cling to Him who holds all things together and covers me in His sheltering wing.

Thankful today - but not without sacrifice,