I took this picture of my Aunt Earlene's "Kitchen Christmas Tree" which was laden with dainty tea cups.
You could look at the tree for hours and find new and fascinating things from every angle!
As I looked through my pictures of the tree, I stopped on this particular china tea cup and plate hanging precariously from its branch. I couldn't help but feel a kindred spirit stir within me as I saw reflected in this cup a picture of my soul.
Fragile. Easily broken. Hanging on to the last limb.
Grief reaches down into your soul and seems to pull out every feeling, every nerve-ending, every insecurity, every doubt.....
And then places all of these sensitive aspects of our being on display for the world to see.
Words that may be said in love or may be said without thinking can cut my heart like a knife. (Words that in the past I may have not even remembered moments later.)
Actions of even the closest friends can leave me wondering if anyone really cares (I know deep inside they do............it's just that my heart has no more room for any pain.)
It's strange but when you're grieving, it is almost as if God is calling you to a higher level of grace and mercy.
I've often tried to place someone else in my shoes and thought, "What would I say? How would I act?"
The truth is...........
There is often no way to please or comfort a grieving friend other than just being there to listen.
Sharing Scriptures maybe.
Sending a text just to say, "I love you" maybe.
Watching a movie together.
Something safe.
CS Lewis said in A Grief Observed that he became angry when people asked about his wife who had recently passed away and he became angry when they didn't. I totally understand what he is trying to say.
I guess I say all of that to say that if you are grieving like I am, my prayer is that you can have a level of grace and mercy with your friends and family. They love you. They hurt with you. They just feel helpless.
I know mine do.
And the truth is................in many ways they are.
Grief is a journey that has to be traveled to a certain extent......alone with God.
And if you are reaching out to a friend who is grieving please know that they don't mean to seem hurt sometimes by your words or actions. They really don't. It's just that when a china tea cup hangs from a branch, sometimes it is going to get chipped.
So today, I want to say to all of you, THANK YOU for being my encouragers and my friends. Thank you for listening to me and sharing words of hope. Every time I read your comments, I walk away strengthened and renewed! You minister to me through your words.
THANK YOU!
Yes, I am fragile.
Thank you for "handling me with care!"
I consider you all treasures that I would happily display on my Christmas tree of life!
23 Comments:
Oh Tammy I do love you and your precious family so!!!! I think of you often, lift a little prayer and hope that you may feel those prayers from the many thinking, praying and loving you! Hang on!!!
I am here
I am listening
I am praying!!
Love,
Mimi
Tammy, you are so right. We grieve with you, we hurt with you but there is no way that we can feel the same dept of grief and hurt. I love you and pray for you and your family daily. Hang in there God will get you through this.
Dear Tammy,
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation,that we may be able to comfort thoes who are in trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ( NIV )
God be with you my friend.
Still praying for you and your family.
Love and Peace ~ Deborah Peterson
Thinking of you and your family. Praying that GOD will grant you the strength to keep trusting HIM all the days' ahead.
I love you!
Matt loves you!
Halley loves you!
The Shaffers'
Oh Tammy,
What an HONOR it's been to walk along side of you on your journey.
There isn't a time I don't stop by to let you know I'm here, I'm praying and I care, that I don't learn more about the great grace of God.
Thanks for being so real.
Hurting with you, and wishing words could take away the pain.
Keep holding on to Jesus♥
There is one thing I know for sure about grief..Time does heal. I felt bogged down in grief at first, like I could not rise above it. Then..lo and behold..healing started happening. A few seconds at first. Then in a week or so..a few minutes went by. Before I realized it, an hour would go by without thinking about my loved one. You never EVER stop missing them, but when you once thought you would never be able to live and go on without them...you discover that you ARE going on. Meanwhile, be kind to yourself. In caring for our families..sometimes women tend to forget about themselves. And give yourself the permission to be sad and cry. Tears are healing, remember Jesus cried too when his friend Lazarus died. There are no easy answers, but we are here to listen as we pray for you and your family. We love you~
((((((((((((Tammy)))))))))))))
Our family prays for yours daily. We don't know you in real life, but through the internet we 'know' a small portion. We are blessed to come alongside you and your family in prayer.
SENDING YOU LOVE, HUGS, AND PRAYERS AS YOU WALK THROUGH IS DEEP DEEP VALLEY.
Hi Tammy,
I've been following your journey for some time now and I'm so inspired by you and your family. What incredible faith and strength you display! You're such an inspiration to us all!
I just pray that you find something to make you smile today...
{{{Hugs}}}
Mimi
I am praying. You're right, I don't know what to say, I have never had to walk in your shoes, this must be the worst grief imaginable. When you write I can actually feel some of your pain, I hold my breath a little and my chest aches and then I try to imagine this times millions, and then I think I feel just a glimpse of what you must feel. Please know that I think of you and your family every day. I check on you daily and although I have only commented recently I want you to know that your Nick touched so many. How far reaching his legacy is. One precious little boy, one big heart, and one journey of faith.
Wow - I do love you although I don't "know" you. I want you to know that I really try to listen to your heart when you share on here.
A higher level of grace and mercy? I think you are onto something there.
Praying on,
Sheryl
Praying that you will have a peaceful, restful sleep tonight!
Tammy, I will never look at a tea cup the same again! You are truly blessed with a way of looking at all things as a lesson with spiritual value. Your words carry so much more weight because of what you are going through. You amaze me every time I come here with what you have to say, and how you say it. I hope you know that there are so many of us out there that think of your family every day and pray constantly for you. I hope that somehow our prayers make your day just a little bit easier. You are loved! Hugs and prayers to you.
Tammy, You are so precious to me and I think and Pray for you often.
I am here.
Love You,
Brenda
I love you beyond words.
When KCU sent the email out and we got word of Nick's death, I kept the email because it contained the link to your blog and reminds me to check here and pray for you daily. I think I've read every blog you've written since... we love you and your family although we never see you in person anymore. You are going to have the best family reunion in Heaven... WOW! Praise God for that hope we have... love, denise
how can you write a so cool blog,i am watting your new post in the future!
Tammy, I don't know you but I do know the heartache you are going through. We lost our youngest son 5 1/2 years ago. At first, I did not think that I could handle the hurt and feeling of total uncontrol...I could not control my tears, fears, and at times, my words.
But as the days went by, I slowly remembered that I was never in control. I still cried, but I allowed God to wrap His arms around me...where I knew peace.
There are still times and places where I tend to come unraveled. But I know I am not alone.
Please know that you are in my prayers.
By God's strength, holding on beyond,
Tawn
When my mom was sick, a lady came up to me and told me a wonderful story how God had healed her mom of cancer. She then said "Now, He might not do that with your mom." She went on to explain how I still needed to trust Him anyway. I know she thought she was helping but it only made me angry...I can't imagine losing a child. I wish I could help you.....I will be praying...
Have you ever "googled" Nick's name? I thought about it today, I had seen his name on a couple of different blogs. Its amazing how one person has affected so many life's without ever meeting them.I sometimes wonder why I'm here. But with him, its so obvious. 13 yrs old, WOW...He has influenced so many people in such a small amount of time.
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