Where do I begin????????

Have you ever tried to help someone with a task and then realized that there are so many tasks that have to be grasped BEFORE you can make any progress.......

That's where I am finding myself this afternoon with my students.

Struggling to determine where to begin on many topics.

You can't find a greatest common factor if you don't know what a factor is.

You can't add fractions with unlike denominators if you're not sure how to make the denominators match.

In a classroom, there are so many different needs. Teachers face this feeling every day all over the world.

And yet the bigger question looming in my mind is,


So, I find myself with my head leaning back against a soft recliner trying to decide how to break down this feeling of being overwhelmed.....yes, overwhelmed just 12 hours after writing about leaning on God........

Oh, Paul, I understand your words when you say "the very things you don't want to do you find yourself doing." Being human makes being like Christ so difficult........(Romans 7)

So I lean back and close my eyes and know that right this minute in the few moments of breathing space that I have before Olivia's big basketball game (which by the way is against the school where I teach) I cannot answer any of my questions.

I can't teach my students everything they don't understand. There are still so many things that I don't understand at the age of 45. But I can teach them something.

So I just have to decide what that something is going to be......

And I can't come right out in a public school setting and say, "Do you know Jesus?" But I can show them love and pray that through my love they will see Jesus.

Oh, what a day it will be when God reveals Himself and all our questions are answered!!!!!!!!!!!!! When our faith becomes sight and we see Him face to face (no more poor reflections in a mirror - I Cor. 13)......

So where do I start?

The answer is always the same.

With Him.

With Him.

With Him.

All core content aside.

All standards removed.

All combined curriculum documents placed temporarily on a shelf.

All rubrics and assessments tucked away.

I have to go to Him.

To breathe.

To cope.

To make sense of things that often don't make sense.

To cry.

To talk.

To rest.

Oh, thank you, God, for always being there.......waiting for me to "begin" with you.

I feel better now.


Blogger natalie said...


I understand completely where you are coming from. It's so hard sometimes to decide where to begin with "our kids". I'm a middle school counselor and last week a student disclosed to me some abuse going on in her home. After I reported it, she will have nothing to do with me. Please pray that God will soften her heart so I can help her.

much love,

Anonymous Sara Bollinger said...

I LOVED your devotion for today! I believe all Christian teachers should be able to relate to what you said. After reading this, it brought a thought to mind. Before I received my Master's degree, I had to do an exit interview. I had to do a compilation of work and speak to two graduate professors via phone. My graduate portfolio contained my "Philosophy of Education." In that paper, I found different quotes and applied them to my teaching philosophy. One of the quotes was "Teach Like Jesus." (I have this plastered around my desk at school.) The professors gave me rave reviews on all of my work, in fact, said they wanted to use it as an example for future students, except they said they wanted me to change my philosophy. The professors said they didn't understand how I could put that phrase in there. One of them laughed at me and said, "Are you saying you take a Bible to school everyday and read it to the students?" I couldn't believe it! A professor at a supposedly "Christian-based" college laughed because I was proud of my faith?!?! I went on to explain that I did not do that because it was a public school, but if he thought that I left my faith at the door, he was sorely mistaken! I went on to explain that in every avenue of my life, I try to emulate Jesus, considering my salvation is more important to me that any job. I said that I hope I can be like Jesus, since He came to early and walked among the poor, sick, and lame and offered them hope. Considering the students and environment they come from, I hope that in some small way I do imitate Christ and they see His love through me. Needless to say, I did have to "revise" my philosophy, but as soon as I get my Rank 1, they will hear about all that! :) Much love to you and yours...Sara

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