My Heart... His Words

Psalm 126

5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6 He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

Do you ever read verses like this one and want to believe that they are true, but then look at the sadness in your life and think,

"How? How could I feel joy? How could I laugh? How could I sing praises?"

I sure have.

But I am here to proclaim that God keeps His Word......

Sometimes the wait for these promises to become reality may seem painfully difficult and long.

Other times God seems to step in and bring bits of joy and laughter almost as quickly as the tears appeared in our eyes.

I have to share about the day before and after the trauma of letting go of Nick's ramp and how God was preparing me for joy on the other side of a very dark afternoon and evening.....

and then how He worked to bring me such laughter that I will never think of Nick's ramp without a smile.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED ON TUESDAY:

I was subbing. In one of the classes I was in there were two boys named "Nick," whom I had had in class in 6th grade when I was teaching full-time. They were part of the three Nicks that had shared that difficult year with me as my Nick was going through chemo......and I fondly referred to them as "My Nicks."

I have to be honest. I did not remember their last names. With over 100 students in a day, the last names sometimes slip out of your mind over time.

Well, I was sitting in a science class Tuesday as a "helper" while the science teacher was going over an assignment the class had just completed. I had sent a text to one of Nick's friend's to see how his dad was doing (they were in Ashland at the hospital). This friend was one of my Nick's biggest buddies and he always calls me "mom" when he texts me. He was telling me that his dad's surgeyr went well when the teacher in the class I was in called on "Nick" to answer a question.

I looked up as the class was asking, "Which Nick?" She then said the last name out loud and I just couldn't believe it! His last name was the same as Nick's buddy whose dad was in the hospital in Ashland!! I texted to tell him and he replied, 'That's awesome! Does he look like me and Nick!?"

Well, I replied quickly, "No, he actually has has long blonde, curly hair....he's a true skateboarder!!! You and Nick would love him!"

I didn't really think anymore about it as I was teaching the rest of the day. I just thought it was one of those little special moments that God gave me to help me smile.

That evening of course was unexpectedly devastating as Nick's ramp was taken out of our backyard.

So Wednesday morning when I woke up I was feeling really blue. I was meeting a friend at church to watch our weekly Beth Moore video, and I wore my glasses because I just felt fragile and wanted to be prepared in case I had another good cry.

Little did I know that I would have tears...... but they would be from laughing!

Before I left for church, I had texted my friend who takes Olivia to and from school......we have been going different directions for the past couple of weeks and I just wanted to check in and say "hi" and apologize for being so out of touch lately

I explained briefly that the night before someone had taken Nick's ramp so I had had a very hard night and probably sounded kind-of "blah" when I had spoken with her briefly on the phone that morning before school.

She did not reply.

Later in the morning as we were watching our Beth Moore video, I received a text from this friend asking me a question about where I'd be after school. She didn't mention my earlier text which I thought was odd, so I replied and asked if she had gotten it.

This is when the laughter came.

Her reply made me laugh harder than I have laughed in such a long time. I literally had tears running down my face.

I wish you could hear her voice as I write her reply. This is what she said:

"Yes. I read it. And I can't believe someone took that ramp. How low can someone go? I'll bet it was a skateboarder!"

She thought someone had stolen the ramp!

And of all things to say, I just cracked up that she said "a skateboarder" after I had had my moment at school with a special boy with a special name and I had referred to him as a true skateboarder!

Oh, I could not stop laughing!

Now, before anyone thinks badly of my friend for blaming this on a skateboarder, please know that the ramp was really nice, really long, really sturdy, and it would have made a great skateboarding ramp!!

If I would have thought of that, I may have just tried to find some skateboarders to give it to!

Anyway, when I think of Nick's ramp from this moment on, I am going to smile!

Not because I'm glad that the ramp is gone.

But because God brought a "skateboarder-looking" Nick with a last name that matched one of Nick's best buddies together with a miscommunication in a text message to make me LAUGH SO HARD!

Thank you, God, for preparing the way for laughter even before my tears came.

Again, You amaze me!!

Forever Committed to Carrying Your Seed (Your Word) Even Through My Tears......

Confident that in Your Time I will Reap Songs of Joy,

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