I don't think I truly understood what it meant to "give everything" to God until I finished writing Facing Dawn.
I remember several years ago promising God half of any money made from this book when it was completed.
I knew the strength I needed to survive the deep pain of losing Nick came from Him and Him alone.
When the book released, I began receiving emails and Facebook messages from readers who were being strengthened and encouraged in their own grief journeys.
I suddenly knew this book was God's not my own.
Not one word of Facing Dawn was penned without His Word
inspiring my thoughts,
comforting my pain,
answering my questions,
relieving my doubts,
assuring me that my struggle to find peace and purpose in my pain was acceptable to and understood by Him.
Because I feel so strongly that this book is God's testimony to His faithfulness even in the deepest heartaches of life,
I told my husband I want all the money received from the sales of this book to go back to Him.
This book is my widow's mite dropped into the treasury.
This book is my gift laid down at the feet of Jesus.
It is my offering.
Because of this book, others who are brokenhearted are being led closer to the heart of God.
At the same time, the orphanage for disabled orphans in Damoh, India, will receive much-needed funding and Todd's journey to work with Good News International, http://www.gnpi.org/ will be made possible.
(Good News International exists
"To fill the earth with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea." (Habakkuk 2:14))
As you think about your own life and your own pain, ask God to show you how He wants to use your heartache to reach others with His love and the story of His Son's ultimate sacrifice for mankind.
God never wastes our pain.
God never allows a tear to fall from our eye that does not become a shower of blessing in the future.
He works in ways we cannot see or understand.
Would I trade my heartache and sadness for a different kind of life?
A life where all my kids were living and my home did not know brokenness?
But, my life is not my own.
My journey is not my own.
So, what do I do with all my grief?
I have to give it back to Him.
I have to let Him use it.
I cling to His promises every single day.
My strength comes from His Word and His Word alone.
Psalm 126:5-6 promises,
"Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them."
Luke 6:38 says,
"Give, and it will be given to you.
A good measure, pressed down,
shaken together and running over,
will be poured into your lap.
For with the measure you use, it will be
measured to you."
Today, give Him your heartache.
Give Him your questions, your struggles, your doubts, your pain, and your fears.
Then watch Him work.
I have laid my sorrow at His feet day after day for so many years, and I can testify to His faithfulness.
His love is never ending.
His compassion never fails.
Even in your deepest places of pain,
He has not abandoned you.
Give Him your grief.
Trust Him today with your pain.