Some days the words won't come.
I sit and stare at a blank screen.
I wonder why I feel the need to type anything at all.
I think about what I read this particular morning in the Bible and wonder whether or not any of it changed me or caused me to look at life differently.
But my mind won't focus,
because it's filled with all the things I need to do,
all the things I should have done last night
that I will now have to squeeze into tomorrow.
Because yesterday I came home exhausted and I curled up on the couch and that was it.
I didn't run pick up a birthday card for my dad.
I didn't pick up the used coat from one friend to mail to another out-of-town friend who needs one.
I didn't get to the post office like I wanted.
I didn't clean my bathrooms or run the sweeper.
And the list goes on and on and on.
Now it's Friday and I should be thankful, but my mind is filled with my own self-inflicted long to-do list,
and I'm struggling to center my mind on today.
Because today I still have to work.
I still have to enter schools and smile and meet with teachers and talk to students and plan with principals and be 100% engaged with the tasks in front of me
even though my heart and mind are filled with so many other things.
Can anyone else relate?
Does anyone else feel conflicted between real-world and work-world thoughts?
I think the disciples and Jesus were full of conflicting thoughts in those last days before the Crucifixion.
Jesus had to feel intense pressure to be all He could be to the disciples while carrying the burden of what was to come.
How did He encourage others while trying to keep Himself from becoming discouraged?
Jesus understood more than anyone else how much He needed strength from above to make it through this life.
He slipped away often just to pour His heart out to God.
He was the Son of God with all the rights and privileges His relationship surely gave Him, and yet He needed God's help desperately, constantly, passionately.
Who do I think I am to try and map out today or tomorrow on my own?
Why do I think I have to rely on my own strength when truly I've never been able to rely on my own strength in the past?
Why do I try to come up with words when really my lack of words is what God always waits for so that He can have the floor?
I didn't start blogging to share my own words.
And every time I sit down and think I need to have something to say,
I quickly discover that nothing is all I have and all I am without Him.
That's where Jesus found Himself on the last days.
And that's where the disciples found themselves as Jesus' body was placed in a tomb.
Fully aware of their nothingness without God and without the Hope of Heaven.
When we grasp the power of nothing,
we begin to feel something stir inside of ourselves that is powerful and full of potential.
God created this world out of nothing.
Why in the world would we ever think we can be anything at all or say anything at all without starting at that very same place of emptiness?
Today, I'm acknowledging my nothingness
and trusting God to step in and be all I can't be.
He needs my "nothing" to create "something."
And He needs your "nothing" too.
Give Him all of you today.
Let Him start with nothing and see what happens.
Determined to be nothing today so God can be something.
"Have this mind among yourselves,
which is yours in Christ Jesus, who,
though he was in the form of God,
did not count equality with God a
thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself, taking the form
of a servant, being born in the
likeness of men.
And being found in human form he
humbled himself and became
obedient unto death,
even death on a cross."