When Christian "Lingo" Doesn't Cut It

I love God.

I'm not sure how He created the Universe, but I believe He did.


I believe Jesus is His Son and that He really did live on this earth just like you and me.

I'll never understand the whole sacrifice thing, but I do know this:

Something inside of me that I did not create understands justice and the need for consequences when someone breaks a law.

So, I accept what Jesus did for me on the cross thankfully and with humility,

because if I had to offer some sort of sacrifice every time I messed up, I'd spend an awful lot of time at an altar.



Sometimes though, and I'm just being honest,

there's a whole bunch of things in this life that just don't make sense to me at all.


You know my own road with grief.

so I won't go back there in great detail  today.

I still walk it daily.

  I try my best to see the best and brightest side of life even in my sadness.

My passion in life is helping others smile through their tears too.



But when I find myself in the presence of someone whose heart is newly broken,

I still find myself wordless.


Even though I've woken up to a world that suddenly stopped spinning on several different occasions,

and even though I've ridden behind a hearse twice with one of my children in front of me,

I still can't find words that make death seem bearable.


I've had people try on many occasions to help me with my grief by using words -even Christian "words"-

(and forgive me if this offends anyone),

but rarely have they helped.


No one who is hurting wants to hear.......


"God has a better plan"

"God brings good from everything"

"God is in control"

"God will heal your broken heart"

"There's still so much to be thankful for"



While I've found on a personal level that in some respects these phrases may hold some truth,

I find them almost as empty as the arms of someone who is dealing with a loss.


So, today, as Tim is upstairs writing a funeral message for a friend's mom and I know of several families who are walking fresh roads of grief,

I just want to say from someone who does believe in God and a life beyond this one,

"I'm sorry for any empty words you may hear from Christians.

I'm sorry for any empty words you may hear from me."


There's really no words, no cards, no flowers, no gifts of any kind that will replace the ache deep inside you.

Honestly, nothing this world offers is going to be enough.

Friends and family will try to help you in the only way they know how -

through words and acts of kindness.


I just have to say this,


"Sometimes even comforting words about God won't be enough.  And that's okay."

I've found in my own grief that what earthly words can't seem to do, God's Word does.


This is one verse that still carries me today,


The Lord is close to the


and saves those who are crushed in


Psalm 34:18


Anonymous Robyn C said...

Very beautifully written!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When my parents died, reading the Bible was really the only comfort I found. Sharing the grief with my siblings did not help. Only private reading of the words in the Bible gave me peace. I had to go back again and again to the Bible because the grief returned. Time has helped me learn to cope, but sometimes the pain is just below the surface, and some times it pops above the surface.
May the Lord continue to Bless and comfort you. You are a blessing to me.

Anonymous Bonnelle said...


HUGS & blessings & lots of love to you!

Blogger D said...

My friend....thank you for such kind and comforting words; still and often needed by me. The kindest thing is a hug and the most acceptable words are 'I am sorry'. At the beach with family, wonderful..,,grand babies and all but SO missing my sweet Nora. Such wonderful memories (and video ) of her running in the surf. The Lord carries,sustains and provides perfect promises. D

Post a Comment


About Me